choosing my path

what do i need

2010-02-14T07:21:00.002+08:00

i wanna leave everything behind,so much stress and misunderstandings,try till sian,expect too much, don't like the way i am living,don't wanna stay in it.dont wanna be in pain anymore,save me.

very bored

2009-09-07T14:11:00.002+08:00

i am freaking busy nowadays coz i gotta do FYP,work like mad and also pursue my interest at the same time. life is really short~! don't the even have time for beauty sleep nowadays and the saddest thing ever is that its my holidays and i feel more drained than ever.TML IS ROU ROU's birthday! i am super excited! will upload whatever photos i can take tml! thus i am gonna steal jere's EX camera and have fun with it.
AND
and
AND
and
AND
i did hair and make up for jere's friend. they were going for D &D and woah i am a total genius! super good hands lei! i made her real pretty wor!i will upload my masterpiece when he uploads the damn photos.

the ups and downs of life!

2009-06-15T15:50:00.002+08:00

this blog seems to be full of my agonies and complains,if it had a voice, i guess it will probably be saying "shut the fuck up! how many more things do you wanna complain??!!sickening...!!" oh well,sorry diary,its your job.
great...now i am creating an illusion of me having conversation with website,i really am creative hur?
alright happy things to start.
the full timers are getting back their rightful pay which happens to be the same amount before recession but the sad news is that there is this MVC thing which takes away a percentage of those who are paid more than 2000.it doesn't really affect the ones i cared more about,so i don't care.
i think my boy has his right to a higher position or a higher pay now,since they are making him do almost everything the captain or supervisor is supposed to do.how would you feel if you had to take the same responsibilities as your captain or supervisor and be underpaid? it sucks,that's what it is.and veran is an awful bastard! he pretends not to see how hard people are working,he prefers to see it as "its your job".i say that he has absolutely the tiniest brain of all the GMs in Singapore,Malaysia and some say Batam.that's exactly how stupid and retarded he is. AND i don't give a damn if he see this.its my own damn free will to comment about the size of his pea brain.and i don't care if you sabo me,it will be nice for him to know the truth.there! i feel good!HA!
work aside! my life is turning out to be pretty good you know! my fyp are cooperating with me,and i finally had attendance for my FYP.and i no longer that lost anymore,although everything is gonna be due soon,i feel pretty good.i can handle the tides now.
i have got some new gadgets in hand and they ARE ALL FREE! i've told some people what it is or basically who it is from when they finally find out the new thing.won't spread the news like fire since i don't want some assholes to find out.so if i don't find you an asshole,i will tell you.LOL
i have gotten a new Topshop dress,FREE AGAIN,given by my extravagant bf.its expensive and gorgeous!its a really body hugging toga dress,i took a photo of it and trust me,what you see is not what it really is,it makes a huge difference when you wear it.and i have got a huge range of eyeshadow,not really huge but the colors i will wear.its from EBAY and pretty good,but i prefer the cream eyeshadow instead of the powdery ones,coz you get the color real quick and i don't do multiple applications to get the right color. alright the good thing about powdery eye shadows is that you can do shades of it very easily but time consuming,and the good thing about cream base is that you get the color you see but harder to get the shades if you do not have sufficient expertise.probably be aiming for the MAC ones after this is done,the more expensive ones are always better.And talking about make up,do you guys actually know that in US,make up is considered expensive in our country? like MAC stuff,an eyeshadow can cost you 25 to 60 dollars,while in US its less than 16 bucks and its considered expensive???!!! i was like "WHAT?!". living in singapore is just that hard.....the nice clothes are always from euro and US.currency converts and BOOM, there goes your pocket! is that even a singapore brand of clothes which are really good??? Coz i think there isn't one at all.it just sucks living in a country with nothing originating.no one is a big shot in cosmetics and fashion,there is no Singapore's Topshop or M.A.C.and don't tell me its Bugis village and silkygirl,coz i never bought any of the stuff there and i had seen them,and they are definitely nothing compared to the ones i like.good stuff always come with a price hur?
like pur minerals,the make up range were extremely nice.its good for the skin,great for the environment,and against animal testing.and the worst part was that its not available in singapore.....hell...am i supposed to go to canada just for make up??? HELL NO!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMnqgbDhLu4
here is the sad demonstration,its sad since i can't get it.
alright i am tired of whining.i gotta go study for the test tml.HAI!!!!pictures next time alright? i'm so tired!

like a slap in the face

2009-05-12T09:12:00.002+08:00

i feel like i have been treated like shit.is it my imagination? i guess i should have listened to jeremey.call me dumb,coz i think i am now.i feel weakened.and your reaction is like a tight slap in the face,so is your answer.i guess i should had just gone school.i know what i should do now,i really do.

love?life?family?and money?

2009-05-03T23:14:00.003+08:00

条件真的比感觉重要吗?
谈恋爱如果只剩下条件, 那不是很悲惨吗 ?
条件能让你快乐吗?
还是条件能让你幸福?
当你靠近一个人, 那种心跳加速害羞的感觉, 你还有吗?
我有.

this is from the show i keep chasing.i love it.i truly think that this is probably whats happening to a lot of people out there. sometimes love and affection is really enough.all that 5Cs issue that just be thrown away.i am applying this to all the good guys(internally),and of course my one and only boyfriend.so if you think that money and the advantages you will gain is all that defines a fantastic relationship,think again.just how much is true?i am from a poor family,and my dad not only is he penniless,he is also childish and definitely stupid.BUT,i still have hopes,that not all poor guys are not worth investing,there are guys out there who are more worthy than anything in this world,and i meant the love and true happiness you will receive now and more to come.of course! don't think that all poor guys are good,you might be blinded by love(ya,i know 1),you need to ask yourself again and again,is he really the one for you?if not,just don't waste your time.if you haven't found one,=),good luck to you!i hope that you will find him/her soon!

swears

2009-04-20T06:20:00.002+08:00

send an email insisting that i will take the five modules and sent an email to project faci saying that i will not be tolerant to nonsense.promised myself to be god-like.and promised myself that i will make myself feel better. I FUCKING DESERVES BETTER TREATMENT! so BOW DOWN to me,you pricklings!
RrRrRoOoOoOoAaAaARrRrR!
i swear that i will step on you if you get in my way!

last day of my "holiday"

2009-04-20T00:46:00.002+08:00

haiz.... i'm so sad....its my last day of holiday...and my sch starts like in a few hours time...i'm so stressed up that i can't even fall asleep.its all that damn project....got me cornered up and whacked till blue black...haiz......low lei....five different classes in two blocks.think i will go into the wrong class someday soon...once this whole sch year thing is over,i am gonna be crying and laughing madly in joy!!!!!!!! if only this day comes soon. AND HOPEFULLY,i will be able to stop whining and whining about how sch just sucks. i will be having a serious talk with module chair tml,hopefully she can do some help in my matter.
AND AWAY WITH SCHOOL SHIT.
let me scold my manager in this space!!!! MR ARJUNAN! action speak more than your god damn words.work it! and stop pin pointing other people.
let me tell you guys about the story again.(lol)
i was working in trophy room today with daniel and it was bloody full with 15 tables all watching the F1 match.PLUS!!! they sat down almost together in lightning speed.so i guess you understood how extremely busy we were serving the guests.i was keying my drinks when suddenly the MAN-WHORE came to me and said" why the mussels bowl never clear?you know full already?".i was like WTF....i am serving some guests who were have clearly waited damn long for someone to get them drinks,and that man-whore cares about a bowl full of mussel shells? i was fed up so i just shout "busy right?!"and ignored his bloody face.after that,i think he was quite pissed.he kept asking daniel to do and that,make daniel pissed too and so he said to me" wa lao,keep asking people to do this and that while he just happily walk around point here and there,never help also."(something like that).i totally agree.
i guess he knew that i was pissed with him,coz he never ask me to do anything after that.managers like garfield,yvonne and Reb will always help out and talk about it later.come on la! serve the drinks to guest first lo.clearing can always do later de ma?!!!its not like they are gonna leave immediately,its only the start of the race!
ok fine leave the scolding now.funny things ok?
one of my tables had a cake in "cold room" (which is a large freezer BTW)
and they wanted it to be brought out after the race.i heard it was so damn huge,they had to leave it in the cold room where more space is available. AND it really was gigantic and HEAVY! three siao zar bos went to prepare the cake(put in candles) and they did their phototakings and all the funny funny things SZBs would do.(like go ki siao over the cake shape).i was so damn curious so i went in too lo! LOL...and i am also another SZB( siao zar bo,crazy girl),the cake was in a shape of an F1 car and it had that petronas sign with a BMW sticker at the front of the car.it was really big,white and very interesting! i will try to get pictures from the rest of the SZBs and upload it soon.show you the fun.
since its so damn big, they only wanted to eat a small portion of it,so we brought it in to the kitchen to cut(me and yeeting). AND we attracted alot of attention from the rest of the restaurant,so pai seh!
the kitchen chefs and other people working in the kitchen plus servers were like constantly taking pictures of it.it was a really funny sight,its like the F1 cake just hold a reporters meeting and everyone went cheek-kit ckeek-kit.lol... the tyres were of course hard chocolate.how to cut? can! kitchen chefs will teach you the ultimate shaolin hand chop and the throw-it-hard-on-the-tray stunt which always work for chocolate that thick and big in size.in no time the cakes were sliced in the most decent way and the choc tyres were split up in the most funny ways.i was really laughing hard at the way they distribute the cake...too bad i didn't have it recorded.
skip the cake now,since they didn't give us any tips for all the hard work contributed.-_-( daniel says he will smash their cake if they dare come twice)lol
anyway almost all of the part timers stayed for dinner. the people i had take note of was daniel,yeeting,trudy,kai xuan and clive.JJ brought his "maybe" girlfriend and anderson brought his "friend" who really just looked like a really old hag.
we felt so strange that we decided to lock ourselves in our own world.we were happily talking when suddenly we realize that weilin is drunk........and she only drank like 400 ml>beer.....lol...she really was drunk.and we imitated her saying i chinese" going to rain lieo,can go home liao...haHAHhahaha" all of us were stunned for a while,and we started laughing and imitating her.then she was swaying and saying she felt dizzy(like duh,you were SWAYING)and she was slurring the next moment.STUNNED!!!lol....what a lousy drinker she was. and everyone was really holding 3 months pregnant stomach and ready to go home except for Trudy who vomit twice and once in taxi plus like continuous when she reached her front door.i wished my stress syndromes are like that,maybe i will be thinner like her situation,but i hate vomiting, any other choice??

am gonna complain as usual

2009-04-05T02:13:00.002+08:00

i just hate my FYP team. i hate them more than anything else.IF there is absolutely any way that i could SIAM them i would do anything possible to reach that goal.not only the team BUT ALSO they project supervisor of this project. she sucks man! she knows nothing at all, and she don't bother to anyway. she just thinks that the lesser you go and bother her,the better a student you are. what an ass.
worst part is that its my mum birthday tml and i have nothing that i can give to her.my two good friend's birthday i also never give anything. i really do feel shitty........about myself.like how the hell did i end up to be so DAMN poor?
lets just forget about the poor thing for a while. but what have i done so badly to those bitchy FYP team mates that they simply pretend that i never existed even when i am right in front of them? what's with my luck with ties and money?
AND!
we have been like quarreling non stop these few days?so whats with me that people have a huge problem in? so what the hell is wrong? why do all things just fall at me all at once?! WHY?! what have i done so wrong to deserve all this?you know what? i might be getting depression soon.now i feel like i could just die off so that i can haunt all those assholes who have been ULTIMATE FUCKERS.

feeling tired

2009-03-14T02:36:00.002+08:00

i am so tired of everything........i just wanna disappear.i feel like an entertainer.......when i don't even wanna be one.seriously can anyone understand how life is hard on me? can anyone just go easy on me once in a while?its not like i am some kind of king kong....i can't stand,support and do everything.be nice to me.THANKS!!!!!give me a break...

renuion day....

2009-02-07T00:34:00.002+08:00

met up with the sisters(shan,ling,ah yuh and ms) and also jason,yunxian,kang wei,joseph and jonathan.
shan and me went to grab a table for the 10 of us first.but it turs out that TIMBRE have only walk ins for THE BAR.what the hell is wrong with them?it was fully booked!!!!so we sat at the bar to wait for some idiots to cancel their reservations.THEN they suddenly shift us to a "bigger" table,saying that they can't give us the full 11 pax table if they don't get to see them(the rest were "on their way")
so no choice it was high chairs all the while.me and shan were definitely not enjoying ourselves waiting for them.we just wished that they will have a change of venue or the shy would start pouring so that they will have to pay for the food and drinks that were on our non-sheltered table.damn off place,who would ever find it good,seriously???
then came the team who said that they will come early with us.min shi's team.she herself said that she will reach at 5.45 at city hall.well she reach timbre around 7.30.and the reason is so damn sucky that it sends me boiling mad.her dota in some lan shop ends at 5.30.FANTASTIC planning! what is this people?meant what you said ok,or else don't even say such things again.if you go to some lan shop you are supposed to know what time it ends so why put it at 5.30 when you know you need to be at city hall at 5.45?and you guys still needed to go back early.what theory is that?
the birthday boy had to come as soon as he can,like how pathetic is that? he is supposed to be the main role,so he could come late,but he rushed his way down.
for the rest of the night,everything went really well.ah yuh kept talking coz he was semi drunk and we took tons of pictures,some were nice but some were just REAL UGLY.all of which is with joseph,ah yuh and shan.will upload when i get them.
the total bill was 240 plus if i didn't get it wrong.ha..and bday boy paid a hundred,coz joseph said its the elder's tradition or something.each of us had to pay 15 dollars only.like real cheap!we didn't get to hear the band coz they came at 10 and we left at 10 for supposingly a movie( ms's gang went home)but the cinemas were pretty much booked till late so we moved on to minds cafe coz kang wei was hungry,we tried waiting for this stupid couple's car to come out,but they just ignore our presence and watched newspaper in the car.we kept staring at them hoping that it works,but they didn't give a damn,they even seemed to enjoy the bloody attention.
my sms came in to go home,so no choice,though unwilling to leave i still had to.so i told them to drop me at some mrt station so that i can go home.but they were nice and said that they will have their supper in woodlands and dropped ah yuh in bugis.while the rest of us went back woodlands.

i had a quarrel with him,and i am really disappointed plus many other emotions which i do not want to and do not know how to explain.i just feel tired.i don't understand,and i try to,but you didn't give me the chance.i thought that i had said to you that communication was important in the relationship,that i needed it terribly,that it was crucial.i hated to be hanging in mid air,to not know if i am gonna dropped down or dragged up.the tension is there,the worry is there.why would you want to get me all worried and scared?why?is trying to solve a problem that hard for you?what do you want from me?

madness

2009-01-29T23:29:00.001+08:00

i am gonna wait till my ulcerS and sore throat heal,and i will start singing and recording it down,plus put it on youtube.LOL.
i know its insane,fater all i am not that good in it at all,and my voice isn't that interesting.
BUT
who cares???!!!
i am just gonna have fun and feel shiok when i read good comments,and spam the bad ones.LOL
and i will have shan shan in my production.the show begins!

no presents?

2009-01-23T00:24:00.004+08:00

how can i not have presents on my birthday???!!! that's ridiculous! i will probably murder my buddies for being so cruel to me.lol
sisters made for me a hilarious AND some quite ugly part video,featuring alot of US..hahaha.and they were singing.like WOW~!
bastards like jeremey law stay at home to care for his girlfriend,saying she was sick and play fish wrangler while i was playing outside.shit him!
and zhu zhu!
he spent a fortune on me.sha gua,he did last min shopping because i manmark him and he had no chance to buy in my presence,he nearly went insane..can't let you guys see the video,coz i acn't upload it,its too PERSONAL,coz they change the song into "my song".specially changed lyrics,which i don't wanna share.
shall upload what zhu zhu bought for me.=)

sims3!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-22T20:55:00.002+08:00

i solemnly swear i will try my ultimate best to buy sims 3 when its out!!! i LOVE it! it sounds really cool!

zhu zhu's nightmare

2009-01-13T21:21:00.002+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!
sorry i gotta blog this.its extremely hilarious.i know i am bad that i do this,but i cant help it.
my zhu zhu just wake up from a huge nightmare.
he dreamt that he saw me having threesome ( a guy with two girls)
he can't remember who the guy and the girl was,but he remembered seeing jeremey law,and two other guy friends of his( felix and keith)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
he saw many people but only remember the four of them.he dunno who is the guy.and he wake up crying coz he cannot take it.LOL....sorry that was really funny.
me having a threesome??? come on la,not in a billion zillion years.he damn cute,he scare me too.was playing my com when i heard him cry...lol...funny pig.

suki sushi-- the worst buffet restaurant

2009-01-13T20:10:00.003+08:00

YES,they are! like all you people out there,i think of this place as a extremely-worth-the-money place.BUT BUT BUT BUT
after today,my opinions totally change! Zhu and me went today,because the both of us were having sushi cravings and we thought that suki sushi would be a great place. the sashimi was not as fresh as it used to be and the sushi rice had no difference to sakae's(they used to be so much better).i was really disappointed,i didn't feel like eating any of the sushi or sashimi anymore,so i was eating cream puffs and thought of getting some FRUITS.
HERE IS THE THING I GOTTA SPREAD.
have you guys eaten ROTTEN FRUITS??? coz i just had a bite this noon.its sourish and it has a rotting stench that makes you wanna throw those sushi plates at the supervisor's or manager's face who thinks i am telling lies.she gives this shit face and says that she will CHECK for me.so she brings it to the kitchen and changed a better and fresher looking plate over.
BUT BUT BUT
there is no difference,they smell the same,and i thought it was my nose doing dejavu,i plucked up courage and took a bite,NB....my hands are itching to throw those same plates le lo.WTH??!!!whats the point of changing when its ALL THE SAME ROTTEN THING???
NO APOLOGY!
NO BETTER FRUITS!!!
AND NO SERVICE RECOVERY!!!!!
this ends my post.
I HATE SUKI SUSHI! WORST OF A KIND!!

last episode of nonya!

2009-01-05T20:26:00.002+08:00

oh god! did you guys see how yuzhu nearly put the damn disgusting roach into her mouth???!!! i was screaming and yelping NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO! in the back of mind,i was having images of skinning,slicing,frying,chopping robert zhang alive.
watching him yelp like girl in pain( all of which were my imagination)

and i SO enjoyed the part which tian bao pointed a gun at robert zhang.It was oohhh so SHIOK AH!.i enjoyed every minute of it. AND THEN.......charlie died~~~~~~~~~
wahahahaha! I LOVE THIS EPISODE.one shot to the head,say bye bye!next on the row,the biggest asshole ever, robert zhang~! WAH THAT FEELING! @#$!%$@^!
HAHA! i am getting happier with the ending now le.LOL!
BUT still so sad for yu zhu.she was a total goner...
i am gonna upload my recent pictures and everything when i have a clearer mind,since i am recalling the way they both die tragically....LOL.

posting.like finally!

2009-01-03T04:00:00.002+08:00

someone told me to stop rotting, so i decided that i should do something to this space since its free and i can better express myself in wordsssss.(i guess so)
i haven't really been busy,just....slacking,rotting and thinking my time away.
thousands of thoughts and problems have run through my mind these days. just no definite solutions and i really do feel tired to work anything out.
i seem to be running again......which is why i am dreaming all day,hoping that i would be able to pull myself together and knock some sense to my empty brain.I just hoped that i would be able to make a difference or perhaps do something changing so things will get better.which will also lead to me being happier and not worry so much.i think i will get white hairs and wrinkles like damn soon.all my dreams seems to be nightmares,all my thoughts seemed to be useless and bull.I just need to clear my mind and perhaps be more alert to the more important things around me.I think i do know what to do,but don't have the courage to do so.
so sorry to give a disgusting post here,i feel bored reading it myself too,i will put up something about countdown day and Christmas when i get my hands on the pictures and also a good mood to start.
AU REVOIR =)

new target!!!

2008-11-30T14:47:00.002+08:00

hahaha!!I am not talking about a guy target,I wanna get to play a new sport.there is this new thing called the suave board!!and it looks damn interesting,don't get me wrong,I am still in love with blading!And forever will be.i thought of buying a new pair of skates, but they were too expensive and I really can't afford it with the current situation I am in.hehehe...so I just need to work harder for it.but I will get my hands on that suave board first!! It's lesser than a hundred so I guess it's really affordable and pretty worth it.it looks like any other skateboard but it works in a very different way,you gotta really twist your waist to get it moving, unlike the usual push you have to give to your skateboard, this is better! Coz I can lose more fats compared to the skateboard(that's the crucial function, considering how much fats I have gained-_-) well for more details you can go check up their website and join in playing!!!!LOL

www.streetwave.sg

my setting up of blogshop

2008-11-05T22:54:00.002+08:00

seemed real easy but the fact is ITS NOT! not when i am that fussy.went to the famous place that almost every single blogshop setter went to.found many of their featured items there.well,what xia xue said is right.THEY ARE ALL THE FUCKING SAME THING made with the same rubbish material.totally zapped the life out of me....
BUT
i am still gonna start one.coz i would not be the same as any other shops out there.i will a big difference,to shock you guys and make you say "where the hell did you get your stocks".
i won't say it out just yet.when i am done with it.i will show you guys my success.yes,i am extremely confident of myself.self-confidence is needed in this,if you believe it and am willing to do anything to achieve it,how can you not get it???
doing a business can be as easy breezy if you know what you are gonna do,right?

i'm not fine

2008-10-28T20:05:00.003+08:00

have you ever had a fear of something???so great that it makes your legs wobbly,drains the energy out of you and makes you shiver???i have.and you dont understand it.its fine,don't make me sound ridiculous,i am not joking around about the fear,its true and its something that i can't stop.its not like i wanted it.its not like i like it.its something i can't control and defeat.don't talk like its nothing,coz its a huge deal to me.don't get it,fine.don't give me a look that seems to me that i am telling you a ridiculous big joke.

sick idea~!

2008-10-26T16:44:00.000+08:00

i have the sudden sick idea to do online business~! anyone supporting me????LOL!!!!!

stunt making

2008-10-20T21:09:00.000+08:00

oh...so sad...i have already prepared to go your house! and you don't know~!wahahaha~!bleah!

outing 2~

2008-10-12T00:28:00.005+08:00

sentosa outing pictures!

2008-10-11T23:40:00.008+08:00

gun-do

2008-10-06T16:32:00.002+08:00

who lives in the pineapple under the sea? SPONGE-BOB-SQUARE-PANTS.
who's the most silly kan gong i've ever seen? STUPID-LIN-RI-XIAN

sian.....that kam gong dua xi kueh paid my overdue M1 bills.they have been overdue for like damn long....so long that i had forgotten about their existence.i have not been using that line at all so what do you expect?i simply wont care abt that line.
they have been so overdue that they have to send "credit innovate" to send me a letter.that idiot paid my bill without my agreement or maybe i should say i knew nothing about it.he told me when he finish his stunt.thanks,stuntman,but no thanks.why got people so kam gong to help others pay bills one???!!!wa lao!!incredible lei!
gotta knock some sense into him...-_-'''

feels empty

2008-10-06T00:50:00.002+08:00

i dunno why i am feeling it this way.i have no idea.....perhaps i do.....know why this is happening to me......just getting really stupid.......doing stupid things.whats with all these signs?????????
i hate signs....why make me more sensitive now??just let me be dumb forever....being dumb might just make me the happiest person in the world.....coz i will not suspect,will be happy with the slightest things,and be satisfied with whatever i am given......i know nothing to stop this.......nothing.....makes me even more empty than before....what the hell am i.....

what i should do now

2008-10-04T01:13:00.003+08:00

sometimes i don't get it myself,why do i care about what they feel? why do i seek the attention of idiots???why do i try so hard when i know whatever i do,it will just go down the drain.no matter how well i do,you won't care.you will only use me as a tool to make your status go up and up and up.whats the point?
if i degrade myself,you will say how useless i am and talk about how sucky it is to have a daughter like me? so your children is there for you to fully utilize?ha.........please tell me where my parents are...i desperately need a simple talk with them.....they were never there when i needed help the most.i hope to see them again.i need a little hug from them.i need to hear them say they love me again.because i no longer feel a need for me to be home anymore.......
all i can do now....is study hard and get my ass outta the place that makes me feel unwanted,that makes me sick all the time.i need to leave,i need to breathe.

i'm blogging again!(coz there is nothing for me to do in sch(lol)

2008-10-02T10:20:00.002+08:00

late for class today! but thank goodness didn't get down graded today as faci was later than me~!LOL you will never guess why i was late.i was busy laughing at the radio DJs and camwhoring.WAHAHA! i know its stupid but some things just can't be helped.
especially when you finally have good tamed hair for that lets say 10 mins??its precious! so i took photos with my best head on.LOL!i didn't take many coz i have not been using my damn camera for quite some time.pimples were popping like no tml and my eyes were always sleepy....i'm tired what.

'first day' of class for immunology today.(i skipped all three at one shot,so today's a fourth)class looks wuite ok with ok people and funny faci.

gangsters-->'hide behind the parang station and smoke right?'
lol...that what the faci described gangsters as.mafia-->black men who are 'high tech'
HA! i like her.she is interesting.

there is a malay girl beside me who REALLY DOES LOOK like dinah!believe me! she does.same hair style,face shape,height also sama sama.but she definitely looks more guai than dinah la.lol!
they wear the same drawing of eyeliner too! lol!(i'm lame)
they just look really alike.next time i might just show her dinah's picture and say its her long lost sister.alright,i'm gonna be back to my ppt,update again when i want to.LOL!

i'm back

2008-09-29T22:05:00.002+08:00

I did this post on the way to work.taking the mrt can be awfully boring sometimes.especially when you get sick of the songs on ipod and you just can’t remember what the nicest songs are. If you guys can remember the best songs from the past (and make sure its english),do remind me of it,ok?
I might be going to rebond my hair on this coming Friday,coz the state of it now can be better understood as an ultimate mess. It looks like hay....or maybe you can say twisted hay! I hate my genes....why do they have to produce such disgusting hair quality??!!!can’t they just make it smooth,sleek or perhaps more manageable??KAO!
My hair has grown alot....i’m really start to wonder how much kassy will charge me....T-T...ex ar....but no choice...i hate to spend time on my hair,i rather sleep more.(ya,i’m lazy)this means i will have to spend more,thus lesser outdoor activities for me(i will go for the sentosa one la,no worries),eat more cheap food,no ‘ding tai feng’,’MOF’,’’delifrance’ or wherever i splashed my money at. No shopping too!!!!!!! Feel damn low lei..........stupid laptop....cost me so much.......if only my money falls from the sky! LA~LA~LA~!

F1,guys!
drama!hahaha! first night race in singapore shows how shitty Ferrari can be!lol! so much drama within the two hours.and can you believe it? i could hear the humming of it at the the back of my workplace,it sounds like a huge swarm of bees.
FYI! i bought neyo's album,'year of the gentleman',and its not as good as his previous two albums,i don't really like the music done by stargate.all the tracks sound quite alike.and ya!!!!
before i forget i have a new aim~! i needa save money for my radio!!!! i found it! its perfect!(with a price)its 'FB163' from LG!!!super sleek! and pretty de!i will save up for it!(i will la!)

shit happens

2008-09-17T10:22:00.005+08:00

no matter how many great and fantastic things happen in school,it will still suck and it gets worst when shit happens.
here is something i do not share the love of.Korean,and i am referring to the language. i think it sounds terribly awful and the girls sometimes are just like too 'teh' or too vulgar.their language damn off......alot of sounds that would usually come out of very uncivilized and rough people.don't get the idea why some people pay to learn this.(i can teach you too! vulgar language that everyone understands!)=P.ok,maybe not,when i am not allowed to say them(ya,since when rite?)

and hey i like the lyrics of this song!
my friend send it to me,its sick and funny.i am evil...muahahaha!btw,i have not listened to the song yet,he only send me the lyrics!coz he wants to send this song to someone he dislikes DEEPLY,what do you think???is it good enough?

****Hope it's okay if I tell you that I fucking hate you
Or how many problems that you've caused and made me live through
I can't stand the way you walk and talk and act like I do
I wrote these words to let you know that I'm in system overload

All of a sudden you've become
Someone I can't get along with and you've..
You've been running all along
From the dreams and virtues meant to save you

You better pray that all the demons won't come back to haunt you
Cause you know that I'll be waiting there with a smile to taunt you
And I can't wait to see you fall and shake and break from the truth
I wrote these words to let you know that I'm in system overload

All of a sudden you've become
Someone I can't get along with and you've..
You've been running all along
From the dreams and virtues meant to save you********

the new craze~~~~

2008-09-12T01:58:00.002+08:00

haha,i am at his house again! ya i know that is definitely nothing big.BUT! now there is a new baby in the house and she is definitely getting all the limelight. especially with zhu zhu.he goes crazy over her,and i mean it,crazy! exactly the same effect you get from the girls who see their idols,i think you can imagine that.he turns real gay.HAHA!(i know you are gonna kill me,bring it on!=p)
you can definitely see his new obsession what.
its in his friendster and phone.lol!
and me! i have got a soft spot on animals....well i have always been,just that it gets deeper now and i really really really wanna GO TO THE ZOO! yes! i wanna go to the mandai zoological gardens~!i wanna see otters,butterflies,the hip hippo,butt ugly monkeys and cute golden tamarins,and ya,WHITE TIGERS! i wanna see that!but do we have that in our zoo???and ride a horse if i can bluff the keeper that i am a below twelve.wahaha!
when i told some ass i might go to the zoo,she sang this to me "country road,take me home,to the PLACE I BELONG~!"slap her! what?you calling me an animal???!! i am a homo sapien and i belong to the bipedal primates in the family of hominidae.well,if you are wondering what i am talking about,basically i am telling you that i am a human being.LOL!just trying to act clever.aha!i guess the angels just came to his room....coz the sleeping feel keeps knocking in....can't remember a thing le.lol next time when i do den,i write la.for now, i will go to lala land.good nitez~!

BABY!!!!!!!

2008-09-09T16:58:00.003+08:00

zhu zhu's brother just had a new daughter/member in the family.she was born on 7/09/08 sunday in the late afternoon.her name is lin zi rou! super cute and soft! she damn small in size and light.2.8 kg only but her face very xiong lei! she look like the police force de god;guan yu!lol.red red de.took a few pictures with her and zhu zhu,next time then i upload when i get my hands on them.wahaha~!
we shopped some clothes for her too! lol! anyhow choose and pick till the bill got pretty high( $50)especially zhu zhu,he was really really enjoying himself,laughing at how cute the clothes were and imagining what we will be doing for the coming months and years.ya, we will definitely be throwing bombs into our pockets for her.
baby's skin was so soft!!! i was really scared that i might just twist her in some way or press too hard on her.zhu zhu also damn scared,the way he holds the baby,you might have just laugh out real loud at him.he even holds his breathe so that he don't affect the baby.HA! bth!the baby was cute,but his actions are much more adorable.(opps! i did it again!)
again,i will upload when i have the time la,you know how busy i can be.=p

new laptop~!

2008-09-04T15:33:00.002+08:00

yup! i had already gotten my new laptop but damn ma fan la.gotta bring to school and change it to vista enterprize and lots of other stupid stuffs needed to be installed,sch started already but i already pon 2 days due to lappy problems and my laziness(a,i am creating ample excuses not to go).and aha! i saw rodney and pearl in one of my class roosters! hehe! finally i get to see someone from my first year and another from my second year class.LOL! so happy.=) life is still a bore.working less and less=lesser money available...so sian...no mood to do anything now.now i'm just blooging coz i think my blog is growing moss.

too much!

2008-08-22T00:29:00.005+08:00

seriously i have got too much to blog! lol! just really purely lazy to do so!HEH~!sisters de post i am still gonna postpone it~! coz write this kinda thing must be more emotional and not what i'm feeling now.you know you know???must have the feel ma!

alrightey...lets see what i have here.i have been working like mad again,as usual,and i am still like a family member in lin's family coz i stay here almost everyday. i have got a picture here that shows monkeys~~~hohoho! thats varen and trudy there.they were spreading the good word of bananas...idiots,passed one to everyone that went in.so in the end almost 7 ppl were eating bananas in the service bar,and it did make them look like a whole lot of monkeys.brewerkz good right?? got good food,nice beer,nice booth seats plus monkeys for you to see.haha....k la i better stop,if not someone go print screen this page and show it to him,den i sure die liao.haha...

went to play badminton with zhu zhu, yuting,sue,bernard,trudy and three other unknown,uninvited kitchen staff.(man..i sound irritating)hehe.
took a 'few' pictures there,i still look freaking ugly but its fine la,i am not that pretty anyway.haha

the love guru~! hahaha! i laughed my ass off in this show,its a must watch for people who loves english jokes,dont worry there are plenty for you to last for the rest of the year. there was this one that really got me laughing madly. the MEANING of bible.======basic instructions before leaving earth! HA! i am not being anti-christ,just find it really funny.and the joke that says what is the name of the capital of thailand,its called bangkok,which is 'bang-cock'hahahaha!and with that he got punched in his pp.hehe!

had pretty much fun but i just lost touch of badminton again,suddenly i just cant find a way to play well,or simply to state,laziness got hold of me.i can't hit well or do anything well at all.it was damn shitty....yuting was really good! zhu zhu said she improved,well i think she is pretty good for her age and gender,as long as she continue to train and if her back injury miraculously heals,then she will play real well in future,what she lacks is good strategy skills and...hmmm...maturity? okay lets move from this topic. we went to eat and oh gosh! i like that XO fish noodle! damn good lo! the soup was really nice with the XO smell but not the taste.sue ate laksa,bernard ate mixed rice,yuting eat chicken chop,zhu zhu eat roasted chicken. we were happily eating till we saw this extremely cute girl called gracia! and wooo!!!she was extremely KE AI lo! and she is only 10 months old! she had=s already grown both sides of her teeth! she keeps laughing and makes her gurl gurl noises.zhu zhu keeps playing with her,well i did too.

now! the main thing i wanted to blog was about this~!

i saw mini s cabrio!!!!!!!! at clarke!!!at that moment i really feel like kidnapping the car.haha! its so pretty!

using I touch to blog!

2008-08-19T03:52:00.002+08:00

haha! I am using I touch to blog this post coz zhu zhu using my lappy to play tetris.hmph!
working on Mondays really make you feel like calling for heaven's help!!! I really feel like going home!its so damn boring.....swatting flies and talking to kent all the time...aj keep disturbing me.he damn ass lo,he was at the other side yet he still manage to do all those stupid stunts like vomitting milk in front of me and popping out put of nowhere.the man-whore and she bitch battle lasted all the way from six till we close,he was still damn busy disturbing me.took the other transport today coz going to zhu zhu de hse.that stupid uncle don't want to send me there,that's really fine you know?but what really made me feel pissed was that he agreed to send me to some place called telecom so that its easy for me to catch a cheap trip.you know what??!!he passed that bloody place and didn't even bother telling me that.maybe he really did forget,then I am sorry but to say that he is sinile or whatever you spell it coz he said ok to me around 15 before he totally passed it.sian!!!!totally no mood....money kerna stolen again...my mum bought a new vaio lappy for bro.ya I do feel Sian abt it but what to do?I can't do anything abt it and I don't wanna do anything abt it too....I am tired of telling my mum to use her brain. She never did....spend 3000 on a stupid course for my bro to get an unconfirmed deferment and buy a bloody expensive lappy for him.DUH!!!talk to my hand la.the more I talk about it,the more stupid it gets,so I will be good and get some beauty sleep instead....nites!!and boy,I spend 15 mins typing this short post!!!LOL!

2008-08-18T17:35:00.002+08:00

living my days spoilt

2008-08-09T15:23:00.002+08:00

ha! you saw it! i have been living my past few days with zhu xian.his house is as good as my home.we watched tv,eat and slept together for the past four days.so when i am back home,i do feel weird.....its strange to be in my room alone.it gets kinds boring which is such a miracle(i can stay in my room whole day and still feel entertained).

i am really spoilt to the core at his house.i get to watch my wanna watch movies,and be rocked to sleep.ya,you heard me,he hugs me and 'sways' me till i really do feel like sleeping even if i don't feel tired.plus i get to eat my tibits on the bed!yeah!he feeds me with it.now i do sound like a handicap don't i?-.-
we would go for walks and go for food sprees.how can i not get fat with him around????!! we did funny stuffs together.HAHA! i will show the pictures when i get my hands on it.we took facial masks together,and its the ones that are cream based and greenish in colour.DAMN UGLY!! and i even managed to take photos of us! HA! tml then i post,i will go take from him later!

i am not the only one who is spoilt,he is too!but i wont say.lol!(fishing!)

got a runaway table yesterday...damn pissed with myself....it was the beijing olympics opening that really got me distracted at first after which it was someone's stupidity that really got me affected and fed up.....but in the end i am the only one at fault,i should have just stop them from leaving the place and gotten their card or something.i had my gains,it was not really that bad,i had 20 plus tips and hey i win a little bit of money at my first tryout in toto! lol!
gotta go prepare for work le,see ya!=)

pictures~!

2008-08-09T15:18:00.003+08:00

there is actually alot more than this but i have not gotten my hands on them...hurhurhur! soon ok,when jeremey is done copying them.ha!

HA!~ i like this

2008-08-02T04:31:00.002+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! i know you gonna scold me le,i go sleep now okay? i guai guai,next time then i elaborate~ LOL!

so far so good

2008-08-02T03:49:00.002+08:00

have settled most of the stuff.school fellas still don't know about it,but i think they will soon,since i had already post it in my blog.school matters later then settle ba,hack care la! i wont see them soon le what,unless i so suai end up same class with them lo.choy choy touch wood.
for my workplace,well some people are abit off la,but seriously i don't wanna care anymore le.most of my close friends are happy with it and i am happy about it,so thats it,no need to care so much about their feelings,since they don't care about how i feel.as what he always say. i only need to care about him and myself,we don't owe anyone any explanations.
needa save lots of money le,going to buy laptop and maybe going to alor star with sue again! eat good food! drive the car(if only i can convince her,i wont drive it into the drain)! visit my future home!(ahaha!its in penang) i shouldn't get so excited,still not sure if i should go or not.don't know this time that pig pig will go with me or not.he got no passport...hmph!

drama

2008-07-30T14:40:00.002+08:00

lots of things happen in a flash recently....feel really tired of handling such things.......i just really wished and hoped that everyone will be more understanding and please listen to what i have to say.because whatever i say,i am serious about it and i definitely know how to think.please do not put words into my mouth.if i caused any misunderstandings between us,i am really sorry,i never meant to hurt anyone.

and to you who thinks that i am only with him because he treats me well or whatever you are thinking.i am not
i know very clearly what my feelings are.i know what i have said before,i did not want a boyfriend currently in my life,because my life is chaotic and i definitely do not wanna drag anyone down.
i can only say feelings are uncontrollable. i fell in love with him,and i don't think he will ever leave me in the lurch.i know that he will always be there for me,and i need him to be.
i missed his craps,i liked his 'singular' laughs even though its there to irritate me,i like it when he laughs terribly,i like it when he snuggles up to me,i like it when he says zhu xiao qian,i like listening to his stories,i like it when he sings to me in SMS,i like it when he try to drop little hints here and there(yea,i know,i just keep quiet nia),i like it when he kisses my forehead,i like it when he tells me stupid jokes,i like it when he gives me stupid faces when he starts fishing me,i smile at his msgs,and laughs at his uniqueness,i simply love to be with him.and when he is not around i feel empty.we may not like the same things,and we might be really different in everything,but there is one simple thing we definitely share,its a huge love bond between us,and that is the main important thing we ever have to share.

you can tell me this is some extraordinary friend thing i feel for him but i just think its not that way.i don't really care about the inferiority thing,i only care about what my and his heart feels.that's all it really matters.

i may have hurt some people because of that,but if you don't understand some things,no matter whatever i do,you will still stay at the same place. if i keep considering about your well-being,who is gonna consider his and mine?no matter what,you still have to face this one day,its the same.i will never hurt him to save you from this misery.

company chalet!

2008-07-23T16:39:00.004+08:00

alright its on last sunday and monday but i am writing about it now.i know i am slow but i am really lazy you know?whats worse,i don't have most of the pictures.most of the pictures and videos are with Veran(my branch manager).and i really wonder how am i supposed to get from him.
okay i was supposed to meet daniel,edith and kent at pasir ris by 12 but i woke up at 12 so haha...no lim kopi session.i was supposed to give kent morning call,but since i din wake up,he also didn't lo.in the end i manage to drag trudy out "early" and reached pasir ris at around 3 plus in the afternoon. there i met up with hui yun,alvin,choon yew,kent,daniel,edith and AJ.i thought we were really late and we were still taking our own sweet time in mac,but you know what?mandy that bunch of people are still at brewerkz.kao!
we arrived at the chalet almost the same time as them.Veran was wearing only this greenish bot shorts,showing his man-ness to everyone.LOL.some of them have not seen his new tanned look,so they were pretty shocked to see him all brownish red.and ya he looked less guniang like that.kent commented about his new look and even asked him to dress like that all the time in brew,then we will call him a real man.(we are assholes)
we left our belongings in one of the four rooms available and started crapping about where we should place amanda. well the conclusion is she should sleep in the toilet,coz she is not a human.there was this sign that says no pets allowed,den rayvin started to joke about amanda being banned in this chalet.michelle was a big idiot,she told amanda that the she had to be bikini as that was the dress code.no bikini no entry.that kam gong still ask her what the guys can wear and she said "only trunks!"..lol! arjunan was around and he tag along with it"ya la amanda only bikini and trunks ar!"
well she didn't come in the end.april explained saying she had some other party to attend(what a coincidence).she even told april this "i have got two parties to attend. i dunno is if i should go for my friend bachelor's or bachelorette's party"lol
if only i were there,i will definitely laugh my ass off in front of her.she dont even know what that is lo...unqualified bimbo.
i played with my skates with daniel and edith,while kent cycled and jeremey WALKED.haha...extra fella.after which jeremey took my skates and i took Daniel's and we went out to skate and talked.we updated each other pretty much stuffs which i don't wanna say here.(opps...fishing)

and see this.THE FOOD WAS ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS.got sausages,steaks,cutlets,squid,shrimp,grilled vegetables,satays,otah,salads,juices,beer,gin,scotch,whisky,rum,vodka.you name it,we have it.we eat and eat,went inside,blast some music and held a personal k box session with no microphone.we were like some crazy choir waving our hands and singing at the top of our lungs.the whole thing was recorded by veran.i am definitely gonna get it from him.its way too interesting and you definitely wanna have a good laugh at it.
soon,the card games,majong and drinking games start.they started playing a game hui yun introduce,after which they play indian poker,the freaking deadly game.and there goes yee ting and daniel.all drunk and transformed into merlions.i got sick of watching them play and went out with choon yew.he cycled while i skated.we talked and crap,share our problems and sat at the pub with kent joining us later.
when we returned more people have already arrived and i accompany terence and kent outside for a while.with the drunk yee ting and people trying to coax her to get her ass into the chalet.soon closing staffs came.2 vans drive in and they sort of reminded me of those fighting scenes.haha! the devils are here.erwin,robin and ridzuan.the drink devils.ha! especially ridzuan! he was holding lots of cups and a few bottles just walked to almost anyone he can see to "offer" his drinks. those who didn't will get his nagging from him.niam niam niam,like ah ma like that.
alan that idiot kerna forced to drink,he happily take and got drunk.terence and brien,they are the artists of the night.they drew alan's face,chest,hands and legs and drew bernard's too.they even went off early and laughed their way home.stupid idiots...the whole place was flooded with the smell of alcohol,and merlions.
veran said all these stuff such as no gambling,no merlions all that bullshit.in the end he was the one who left the bottles of bombay,j&b scotch and blah blah blah there for us.loL!
i left at around six plus in the morning,coz i cant really stand seeing merlions around.erwin was really drunk.lucien did a stupid thing la,although its really not his fault but he mentioned shun yee in front of erwin,like ask how she is.ass man...he didn't know what shun yee did to erwin.erwin after that damn sad de,keep asking me to find whisky for him.he was like repeating words like "are you ok?" when i should be the one asking him that,he was really sad...hai...hope he finds someone who will really treasure him lo...shun yee damn guo fen...hate her doings...hope lao tian ye will be more fair to erwin and let him get something good in return.
yup thats about all...and oh ya! that stupid kent that day damn emo de keep don't wanna tell me stuffs and jeremey was such a great nurse! he kept taking very good care of yee ting.haha! oh i see something coming=P

eh....ar....e....oh....

2008-07-20T02:12:00.005+08:00

seriously many things happened over the week,but......i don't know if i should put it up or not.i will just say some stupid stunts i did.
served a local table yesterday and did not really expect them to do tipping and they did with quite an amazing value(i hated serving them)LOL.the birthday girl was wearing those damn low cut blouse that showed 3/4 of her boobies,arjunan keep saying "cantek ar".haha...i just told him she might as well don't wear the blouse.she just kept flashing her boobies which gets pretty irritating since i am not as well off as her(just kidding)and she was really drunk.(ya i know,if you are guy you will be saying "what a waste i wasn't there") i REALLY liked that table coz they bought a cake from nectarie at clarke place and left the box there! i am so happy! i love that box!(so i took it home=D)

ya la i know,garung guni rite?(i don't care!)
today was pure drama.a guy fell down and his head at the bar.HA!an ambulance had to come to fetch him to hospital for a check up.what an expensive 'drink' he had.then there was this Indian girl who threw up everything at the table...ewww....then she even peng at the NARROW corridors to the toilet.to make things worst she vomit at the constraint space left to walk through.fantastic.that sent almost all managers and supervisors over to check out the situation. i went too!(coz i am kaypo),only to be poked by erwin and pushed back to my place(i poked him back!lol)
talk about poking ppl in the waist....i started this trend with Terence.the moment we see each other,we will be wrestling with each other and poking each other all the time.lol.i sort of extended it to almost everyone i see so that i know who is afraid of the itch.to my surprise a lot are...HOHOHO...(sadly,i am too )now,retribution seems to have worked its course,coz everyone aims at me.see me,POKE,see me,smack my ponytail.see me,disturb me.KAO!
talk about the admirers,i am starting to suspect another coming,whats with the 'luck' lo....why recently?i don't think i have changed much in appearance ar,aiya,i don't care,i just live my life the way i want to.
having company chalet tml,i want to play till no tml! swim,skate,cycle,eat and di siao siao!OH HO!just the thought of it perks me up.oh no no no no,i gotta go sleep le,coz i need to wake up early, i wanna enjoy my long awaited "lim kopi" session with my friends,lol.
gotta tuck in le,good nitez~!
end the post with pictures!(sue and me)(me and zhu xian)

i need you to know

2008-07-17T23:44:00.002+08:00

i know whatever i say does not make any sense to you.but listen to this.....
i gave up on you a long time ago.the feelings are no longer love,its "xi guan".i am used to having you around.i will be the most selfish bitch ever if i gave you a chance to woo me back,especially when i know that its impossible between us.you may not understand this,after all, i took 2 years plus to understand it. I can't explain ,its hard to find the words.i can only say that i realize,understood,and moved on.
you said that i did not even give you a chance,i know,i am sorry for being so cruel,i don't want to hurt you anymore.you did understand what i meant.everything we had was in the past.we no longer have the bond within us anymore.don't you see? we drifted throughout the years.your love and affection stays at the past me not the 'now' me.i am different now,there are many things that you no longer know and understand me.I have not changed but you do not know the history of or the present me anymore.although i still have the same problems around me,i might already have a different approach towards it.
you know me well,i told you,"no matter what,do not regret what you did,every decision you make,changes the course of your life,stick with it"don't make your life so difficult for yourself.if you know there are wolves on the hills,why would you even want to go up to kill yourself?bu yao zhe yang zhi....its just not you.....you never take risk,why now?
you said you figured it out and that you definitely wanted me in your life.but i have also figured that i did want you in my life but in a very different way...i can't accept your way and you can't accept mine.we have our reasons.
if i know that you and i will never work out,why do i even offer you the chance to do so?why do you wanna make me a bitch that i never wanted to be?
i have my reasons for saying that we won't work out.yes,i was influenced by the past,but my decision was based mainly on how i would feel about our future.i just can't see any of it,i don't even think about it the same way that i did a few years ago.
please.......do it for yourself.
let me go......not that i don't want you around,i don't want to you to feel lost and frustrated over me.you know my attitude towards you changed,and i know you can't accept that.for me,i fell that nothing was wrong,what about you?i know you don't like it.i can no longer to there for you like how i used to be.chances are not always there,its gone now.we are just not meant to be,i hope that you will be able to think through this and moved on. i know its a painful process but HOLD ON,AND PULL THROUGH IT.you are the last person i ever want to hurt.

upload pictures for shan

2008-07-14T00:23:00.004+08:00

ya these are pictures of us taken at cwp's gelare.we were being really lame.playing around with our handphone and face.i thought those ugly pictures looked really good.haha,at least i had a good laugh at them.
anyway i watch wanted today.abit gross lei...but i love the action,and for me its quite funny.and ya its pretty lame,that they go after the targets given by the holy crappy cloths la,but i like the ending.HAHA! bad movie,it should be M18,too much bad influence,but hey i still think its highly recommended for some people that i know.if you ever watch that movie and read my blog,i MAY be referring to you oh.lol
love the sentence in the end.kicks the sense out of you,"WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING LATELY?!"
good question,what ar?

super nice cars( i upload for you le hor)

2008-07-09T01:15:00.002+08:00

miss chia wanted to know and sort of have the pictures of the cars she sets her eyes on,so i help her to post on her blog.the first one is the suzuki swift sports and the second one is the mini cooper s cabrio.all in your favourite colours.satisfied?drool!coz you wont be able to get them.more models would have already been out by the time you get your license and money.LOL!

random

2008-07-09T00:32:00.002+08:00

sometimes i simply cant understand why things can be so out of what i had assumed it to be.i thought it was my fault but i realize its their fault too for not clarifing things.I get bothered by it but hey!why should i Be???coz they only know how to say how sad their life is and keep on complaining,they just don't do anything about it?(i dont fucking understand whys that)so why must I always make an effort to make them happier only to find myself an idiot?
thats it,end of me being an idiot.i wont be so auto anymore.dont expect me to go to you anymore,want to find me to talk,FIND ME,dont wait,coz i wont go.

sisters outing pictures!

2008-07-07T15:51:00.007+08:00

my personality test from ms blog! lol!

2008-07-06T23:36:00.000+08:00

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

more pictures at double O(its closing down soon within this week i think*double O,not my blog)

2008-07-02T03:15:00.002+08:00

updates!

2008-06-29T23:30:00.002+08:00

HM.....i dunno what to say or how to organize my information.so its gonna be very dry and draggy.LOL!(not happy don't read ar!)=P
went to see lots of movies recently.watched zohan,get smart,kung fu panda,blah blah blah.zohan was a bit disappointing while kung fu panda was totally unexpectedly funny.love the master,he damn cute,small in size,but extremely juai!chilli padi!
get smart was really stupid,but i still find it funny.the next show in the queue would be WANTED! its so damn cool~!they have got angelina jolie!its a must watch!
(i wanted to see twilight too!)
school laptop sucks.....no msn,no youtube,no imeem,no tetris.....ARRGGGHHH~! give me back my entertaiment!!!! but anyway school just returned me my leo,xie tian xie di,i can finally go to school le!
went gai gai with shan after work yesterday.went to eat and blught a dress that cost ONLY 29.90! freaking cheap!thats actually the cheapest clothing i had bought this year!HAHAHA! i know i am terrible,i like clothes that last long for me and of course they come with a BIGGER price.the dress was cute to me so i didn't really care if the material is so so,coz its CHEAP,whatdaya expect hur?bought a noobish sunglass and a beltand helped to pay for shan's 'dress' coz she no money le.she lost something important and gotta save up for it.kam gong one.and i lost my atm card again yesterday(i am another gong one),but its ok la,will do a new one later(debit la!).gotta go le,too many things to be done.woossshh!*

I GOT TAGGED.......AGAIN........KAO!

2008-06-24T15:31:00.002+08:00

01. What have you been doing recently?
slacking

02. Do you ever turn you cell phone off?
no,its on 24.7

03. What happened at 10.00am today?
i fell asleep?

04. When did you last cry?
a few days ago?

05. Believe in fate/destiny?
ya

06. What do you want in your life right now?
stability

07. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
i don't carry an umbrella nor a hood.i run in the rain.

08. What’s your favourite thing to have on your bed?
myself.lol

09. What bottom are you wearing now?
shorts

10. What’s the nicest text in your inbox say?
which inbox?

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
no.

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
no

13. What was the last movie you caught?
zohan with trudy and zhu xian.

14. What are you proud of?
..........my recently cleaned cleared room?lol

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
"yes.purely so.phone never silent right you bitch".i dont keep msgs by the way.lol

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
right now by danity kane(i know its a very sensual song but i liked it)

17. Do you have any nicknames?
HAHA! Its on my blog,top right hand corner.

18. What does your last received text message say? Who was it from?
telling me to study and say the details of my story later.zhu xian!

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
one plus???

20. Are you currently happy?
no

21. Who gives you best advice?
too many to mention,they don't usually get into my head anyway.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
YESH!

23. Who did you talk on phone last night?
shi kai

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
yes

25. What/who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
..........ar.........wee huat a few mins ago?

26. Do you wear toe socks?
no idea whats that so should be no

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
guo qiang

28. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
yes

29. What annoys you most in a person?
his or her character?

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
now?no.

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
ha! i don't even smoke.

32. What is the colour of your room?
light blue

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
yes!

34. Do you believe in the saying ‘talk is cheap’?
what the hell is that?

35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed?
trudy.lol

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
farhan!(his bday hug)

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
what do you mean?my last kiss was public so i guess yes?

38. Do you have a life?
i am still living,so yes.

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn’t?
yes.

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?
to tell everyone to be strong and move on.

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
my grandparents.(i miss them)

42. Last time you smiled?
now?

43. Have you changed this year?
hard to say,its for you to decide =)

44. What are you listening right now ?
right now by danity kane

45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
Nope

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
open la~!who walks with their eyes closed?unless they wanna die.

47. Is there a quote you live by?
many but i will mention one which is.money has never been a problem,its you.

48. Do you want someone you can’t have?
ha i did,but not now

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
ya,played with many

50. What was the worst idea you’ve had in week?
leaving this place

51. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm?
reading

52. Why do you blog?
coz i like it

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
yes and a no?

55. Who always make you laugh?
....i cant answer this.coz almost everyone can except for qing ying

56. Do you speak other language other than English?
yes

57. Favourite website?
google

58. What's your middle name?
yi

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
going to school and working after that

60. What do you think you are like?
woah.....the wind?haha.....ask me and i might explain.

61. Who will you choose to die with?
my husband

62. Where have you been today?
home,school and bbdc later

63. What game do you play often?
neopets! i have got millions in there.lol

64. What are you missing right now?
secondary days

65. If you’ve to choose between friend n loves, who will you choose?
hard to decide,but i don't think i will have to choose now so no answer

66. What are you doing right now?
getting fed up in answering this and thinking of ways to slaughter min shi for tagging me

67. Which primary school are you from?
townsvillie and evergreen

68. Name 3 colours that you like?
white,red,green

69. What emotion you like to show?
like? i don't know but i smile and laugh most of the times

70. What is your life to you?
a long tormenting journey and a huge challenge

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
talk about it or take a stroll around the multi storey carpark by myself.

72. Who did you last chat in msn today?
wee huat

73. Who do you admire most?
i don't know

74. Which month are you born in?
december

75. How are you feeling right now?
fed up

76. What is the time now?
3.59

77. what kind of person do u think the one who tagged u is??
an idiot.

78. What colour did you use to dye hair?
brown highlights?

79. Why are you doing this test?
coz min shi tagged me

80. What do you do when you’re moody?
make myself happy

81. At which age you wish to get married?
27? 28? 29? 30? 31?

82. Who is more important to you? Girlfriend or friends?
friends.I WILL NEVER HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!lol

83. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do?
kiss everyone goodbye

84. Who is the person you trust the most?
haha....used to have one but now no.

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
seen dozens of them

86. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
a bright future and a great family

87. What is your goal for this year?
to attend school everyday

88. Do you believe in eternity love?
Yes....and no?

89. What feeling do you love most?
the feeling of being 'touched'?

90. Do you really think its Global Warming now?
of coz~!

91. What feeling you hate the most?
the feeling of failure?

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
i do want to and i will

93. Do you believe in god?
no

94. Who cares for you most?
i don't know.everyone cares for me,i have not asked myself who does it the most.

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
family

96. What will you bring when you fight?
hahahaha!i brought my mums wooden cake making 'staff' once(to beat the sense out of the 2 bitches who beat shan up),depends on whats available and how much i feel like killing them.

97. What have you regretted doing in your whole life?
being persuaded into entering RP.

98. What would you feel if every one no longer cares for you?
depressed

99. What if your stead two-timed you?
kick his vital part.

100.HOW DO U FEEL NOW?
BORED!

this is not fair~! i got tagged too many times~!!!

2008-06-24T12:48:00.003+08:00

A) people who have been tagged MUST write their answers on their blog/or they can send EMAIL to EVERYONE.
b)tag 8 OTHER PEOPLE to do this quiz and those tagged cannot refuse.these people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person who they were tagged by.
c)continue this game by sending it to people.

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
hmm....laughed at him and say that he is stupid?

#2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
hard to decide....but i will want to be rich~!lol

#3. What will your dream wedding be like?
hard to describe!fun and romantic?

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
very.i am on my way there but i can't move.PUSH ME!

#5. What's your ideal lover like?
i don't think i got ideal lover.....when you like someone,its for who they are,and i don't wanna stereotype them,coz they are unique in their own ways.

#6. What is more blessed? loving someone or being loved by someone?
being loved i guess.

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
i don't know,till i get sick of it?

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what will you do?
wait for him to be detached.lol~!

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
plenty,no point saying it too,you can't solve it.

#10. Is being tagged fun?
no

#11. How do you see yourself in 10years time?
i am nineteen now,so ten years later....29....OLD..but i hope that i get the job i love and that i will have already traveled to the places i wanted to.=)

#12. What kind of person do you think that tagged you is?
a friend.

#13. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
hard one....'single and rich'can be reaLLY lonely and sad.i prefer to be married but poor if my husband is someone worth me being poor instead of rich!=)

#14. Who are currently the most important people to you?
everyone i know and are close to?

#15. What is the first thing you do every morning?
get straight back to lala land or get a mini apple.

#16. Would you give all in a relationship?
depends on the relationship.If i see myself with him for the rest of the lifetime,yes i will,but if i cant see the future,i won't,its just a way of protecting myself.

#17. If you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously, who would you pick?
the one i can get along better,be happier and loves me more.haha!

#18. What type of friends do you like?
sincere friends,those who really do care!

#19. What type of friends do you dislike?
.......they wont be my friends.stupid question,by the way

#20. Tag 8 other friends.(hahaha!they tagged me i got no choice so i tagged you all)
1.bei shan
2.eeling
3.shikai
4.hui yun
5.metalella
6.ri xian
7.david

i got tagged by min shi,juli,kristen and hagen.hate them don't hate me,i got no choice also ,too many people tagged me at one time le.

farhan's 21th Bday at double O(thursday ladies night)

2008-06-21T05:28:00.006+08:00

very tired le,will put up all the pictures and talk more about it someother time ba.=)

sian........F up!

2008-06-19T04:26:00.002+08:00

sian sia........totally no drive to go school lei.its not the things that happened.I know my priorities,i know what i am aiming for,i know its important but I just cant get there you know? rp has got this fucked up look that says"please do not enter or come back again"
this totally sucks.........its just that i know whats the road i am taking but i just can't step on it.....will somebody just kick me in the head so that i am more clear???!!i am like somewhere there but not yet there.you get what i mean?totally shut down lei.no matter what people say,it didn't matter at all.it was my unsolvable problem.I got so fed up,i turn to sch's counseling,now i am waiting for one life-saving email,i hope that they can help.give me some huge penalties,make me pay money or whatever it takes to drag me to school.AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH~!!!!!!!!!FUCK LA!sian...talk so much,complain so much,still don't have people who understand and help de.for what am i saying this sia?(to prove that i am an idiotic bitch)

random post before i go penang!

2008-06-07T04:58:00.004+08:00

i going to penang lo~!so you guys won't hear from me for a VERY short time.just in case you all miss me,i will put something up.HAHA!=P
went St James on Wednesday,it was really really packed,but there was no such queue ridzuan said(he said you can line from 2am to 4am) which is pretty impossible,since it closes at 4. reach there around 1 plus i think,was in the cab with sue when i saw the kitchen's ah leong from afar,then sue tell me that he got come.what made me went bonkers was when i saw the number of GUYS he brought.just when i thought its supposed to be a true 'ladies night'(me,Trudy,sue,wani and her sister),ya but along with six kitchen guys if i am not wrong.call it the guy's night out instead. at first,i thought it was Trudy who called the ah leong,turns out to be sue instead and absolutely no one had any idea that he was gonna bring the whole bunch of them.
we got in and as usual me and sue are the crazy idiots.we danced and laughed like there was no tml.i cant drink but they ordered jugs,so i took a few 'sips',nothing much to get me the 'high' feeling,so no worries,i know my health.when i really am tired and thirsty,i opt for a "this-is-for-myself" orange juice,coz i was sweating and losing lots of water.
sue was abit drunk,make it pretty drunk,you can tell from her teary eyes.we went out and talked abit before having a little argument with the stupid bouncer(we wanted to get in to take our belongings and he forbid us to do so,coz he said its closed and wanted us to phone our friends to get it for us) we got nothing with us,how are we supposed to phone our friends??!! TELEPATHY??!! I got fed up with him and raised my tone,and he finally understood the situation and let us in.like why would i wanna continue drinking and dancing in a lighted place with no music and alcohol at all?-_-'''
sue was hungry and demanded for food,so off we went to lao pa sa! makan gong gongs,kang kong and rice.the kitchen staff kept talking and talking,mostly bullshit but it was really interesting to hear them chat about the way ah chuan(kitchen chef and manager) will scold them,the way they will party in the kitchen when he is not around and how much tacit understanding they have with each other,they even showed us real lame examples,like moving one's finger left and right and the other would move his head in the same direction at the exact start and end.LOL.calling oneself 'wo lan jao' and the other will say "wo chee bye".really lame but funny la,hahaha...after which we went to wave a taxi for sue(hard task, taxi changing shifts)
trudy wanted to go to the toilet urgently so she decided to start 'running' when we were near and.....she went the wrong way.she still laugh like siao ding dong,and run the right way with a weird posture.because of that this guy called ah dong found it funny and imitated her,and she started chasing him when she was out of the toilet.
so here's the result,she didn't manage to catch him even when he was running round and round in her weird 'fairy posture'.
slept a bit when i was in the train and reached home in the morning.....i forgot what s the time,but it doesn't matter anyway.HAHA!
have 'some' pictures down there.

i am a little bit insane today coz kerna slammed real hard in the early morning(12 plus la,its still morning to me)those guests were idiots,they do so much stupid things,and i had so little time to digest.i was not even fully awake yet! they slapped the sleepiness out of me and made me sweat like hell....~!thank goodness,lovely,nice,handsome,tall,good-looking,cool,charming kent came to help(SEE! I PRAISED YOU!)=D.so i managed to pull through. gave him a treat during lunch time since he has been SO nice.haha......
they put me at the last umbrella AGAIN(the last section,which is really far from the door and the most troublesome place to me)hai....made me really tired and crazy,so i told erwin to let me settle my things last(cash out),coz i had a long list of bills to settle.he really did(huge miracle).got lots of cash so i took a picture of it.so near yet so far...T-T.Dennis commented that it look like those police case where a loan shark is caught or something like that.haha! so true.ri xian got more,so he used it to prove that he is money face(another loan shark).haha!i took a picture of him covering his face with money...!was crazy enough to take a few more pictures with shane and mary during work.lol!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

2008-05-29T02:48:00.002+08:00

i am freaking dumb~!i don't understand why must i hold on to my wallet 24,7 in MY OWN HOUSE~!
oh~coz we've got a house thief~! is that a problem that should even exist???why the hell must i be scolded for not bringing my wallet to the toilet and when my money goes MIA??!!fuck X10!
i am so so so so so so so so so so so SICK of this~!its worse than a hotel! coz hotel got security,and i am sure that if i leave my wallet lying around,NO ONE is gonna remove it from its rightful place,so is my handphone.
someone please explain to me,why am i supposed to receive these damages?why should i still stay in the house?why none of them seemed to know?or maybe they just ignore it and think that it will just go away as time pass,BUT I AM VERY SORRY,coz your remedy is so not working!
as my parents,you people know nothing.you don't do anything,and you always expect me to be strong and solve those problems you refuse to even try.all i ever hear from your mouth is "money",in my world of family talks,money is the only issue,oh wait,"your brother".ya,everyone needs help in the family except for me.everyone needs guidance except for me.everyone needs a push except for me.coz i will fix things even if there are damages?what don't you just wake up and realize that you have been pushing every damn responsibility to me?nobody in the family protects me from harm,you guys always use me as a shield.
believe my words,your shield will be damaged one day and it will never ever be the same again.no one is ever gonna protect you again.because you never appreciated its existence,criticize it and said that its useless.i am just about to let you know how useless it can be,watch me.
coz i don't know how to be fine when i am not.

SIAN

2008-05-28T16:35:00.003+08:00

i know the holidays are just around the corner.but i am not looking forward to it at all.....i will have to work at full blast and the only break i will ever have is just the penang trip ba? PATHETIC lei.....money is a really big issue for this month and the next few months to come.....don't wanna shop le...
anyway met ling on the way back home,we had dinner together and simply chatted fro like two to three hours.(terrible hor?) we talked about everything in the WORLD.lol! but anyway,she wants to meet 'us' and seriously like go out together and chill.so sisters looking at this,make yourself available on saturdays in JUNE.thats the only day she is free,i will try my best to make myself free too.hehe.
and yea,i bought a book again.don't yell at me,i know i bought a lot of books but its for my entertainment.=P go out,i sure spend money de,might as well buy a few books and stay home to read???haha! i am not emo-ing.
skinny called me up to me her problem la,so i had to entertain her for like a while,make her laugh la,promise her that i will be there as long as she needed help.i will kill that asshole if i were her,she damn ker lian de lo!cannot say much,its too personal.
after which i was doing my stuff and ri xian miss call me.so i called back with my HP,thinking its something short ba.in the end we chatted for one and a half hour.he got no free incoming and i got no free outgoing.fantastic,so i wont be the only one seeing high soaring phone bills for this month.lol!i didn't realize it till i was about to sleep.we chatted about almost everything in the world,horror movies la,fiona la,and blah blah blah.
my day yesterday was really chatty.....talk and talk and talk.

pictures taken

2008-05-28T00:05:00.003+08:00

i really really did like the BLUE BLOUSE.wei hong said that i look like a air stewardess.LOL! i wont buy it la,its too expensive.$118 if i am not wrong and ya,its only the a blouse and it cost that much!

stop crying your heart out---oasis

2008-05-27T17:01:00.001+08:00

Hold up
Hold up
Don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone

May you smile(may you smile)
Shine on(shine on)
don't be scared (don't be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm

cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take What you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Get up(get up)
Come On (Come on
Why're you scared? (i'm not scared)
You'll never change
What's been and gone.

Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on you way
And stop crying your heart out

Cos all of the stars
Ae fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on you way
And stop crying your heart out

We're all of us stars
we're fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see us some day
Just take what you need
And be on you way
And stop crying your heat out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out

window shopping in VIvo and blah blah

2008-05-27T16:11:00.004+08:00

met up with shan yesterday. was feeling really down and needed a breather.so we went shopping~!!!!!!haha....took quite a lot of pictures but they were not taken by my phone but her phone,so gotta wait for her to upload.and we got an additional member joining our shopping spree,thats WEI HONG.its almost like thousands of years since we meet each other lo.he called me up suddenly and asked if i wanna go have dinner so we did and he followed us all the way.he must have been really bored!!!LOL!he even carried my laptop for me,so nice of him.after that shan decided that she could do with some additional help too and wei hong gotta carry two laptops.
i guess the hot topic between us would be driving tests....duh...i have not even registered for my final theory,i am really taking it slow huh???haha...shan fail her TP two times liao,lol,she still came up with the reason saying she has to follow her father coz her dad passed it on his third attempt.IF she fails on the third time i will really laugh my ass off.(you better pass ar,i want still want my butt)
we went shopping but bought NOTHING.(except dinner)haha,but we will buying things on thursday la,coz i promised trudy to wait for her and spent the discount voucher with her.(she wanted the sandals and a blouse if i am not wrong)
i seriously don't know what to buy and don't really feel like buying anything.even if i do,i also buy for the sake of sales.cheap.buy and stock up lo.HAHA!
went back at around 10,coz both me and shan got tests and we were damn tired(esp me,trying all those expensive shoes)
initially i wanted to take the MRT but wei hong and shan keep saying the bus faster,got seats la,can sleep la,blah blah blah,in the end it took more than an hour for the bus trip and around 15 mins for waiting for the bus.it stops at woodlands,so i have to take the MRT to admiralty and walk home.YA RITE,so much for "take the bus=better"..took me two hours to reach home.fan-tas-tic,hur?thats why i say i don't like buses,keep swaying,sleep till my head hurt...in mrt,better,no pain de,i just keep falling ba liao.haha...

met up with david a few days ago and had my lunch with him.kent was supposed to be there too but he got locked up in his OWN house(yea,rite) we chat about almost everything and i guess that day must be ferrari gathering day,coz i saw a whole LOT of them,from old classics to the damn new ones.there were even ladies driving it.the engines sound REAL GOOD lo.estimated to be around 20 plus of them ba.shocking eh???blasting around orchard,rich people!herz!just you wait! i will drive one someday.=P
and he got me presents.a pashmina shawl and a birthday bear.so shocked that he knew my bday,coz i thought he don't,den when i ask him,he said i told him before.wow,i don't even remember.lol!he wrote me a 'note' and i wrote him a long passage.haha...think i will pass it to him soon.

i'm settled

2008-05-26T01:22:00.001+08:00

i chose to move on,in fact i did not choose,my heart decided that it had enough and moved on before i knew it.i made my stand clear. the answer i had was not expected.
no expectations no disappointments.after all thats said,and talked,thats the answer you were giving me?ha...just how much did you trusted me? what was your trust built on? you fully utilize me...just who are you???encouraged me to move on,and i did.i don't get you,i doubt you understand yourself too.
don't expect people to be running after you all the time.you get sad for me listening to your advice?who is contradicting now?don't bring the two of them up,it has nothing to do with them,its you.
drop contact?sure,if it makes you feel any better,go ahead with it.

ar....i dont know

2008-05-21T02:53:00.004+08:00

seriously, i have got lots of things to add on and blog about,but i AM reaLly lazy...hehehe....
went to sue's house to stay for a night(NUS hostel).she say i damn kiasu,coz i keep taking pictures.you know what? i cant help it! it looks pretty...haha...because of that i told sue"i wanna study in NUS!" and she laughed like crazy.
bei shan's birthday was a mess...felt that things were not organized and there was a lot of controversy...damn sian one.threw min shi into the pool den realize she cant swim,in the end i had to jump in to save her.HA! (serves me right for trying to sabo her) she damn ker lian one,but she is a nice person so she forgive me for trying to drown her on her 19th birthday and laughed it all off.jeremey got pushed into the pool too.he acted like a cat!he just 'JUMP' off the water,and reached land.sounds impossible but he did it by grabbing the silver handles on time,so only his pants and walkie got wet.LOL!some assholes on the opposite side of the pool were like booing and shouting at me to swim to the other side and they did stupid whistles coz my clothes were a complete see through. i was really pissed off! whats more i asked that lim bu shan to help me take my towel.she went up and down and UP AGAIN,coz her danny was going to change clothes.WTH!! shouldn't your friend in distress be of top priority and not going to change clothes with your bf???letting your friend die that.hell la! den after which ms,ling and me decided to go for a walk and like catch up with each other,one fella was missing coz she says she just bathed..-_-??what the hell is that???ms cant swim and she got dunked into the pool.she was fine with it so whats the problem with the one who didn't get wet?like so emo for what? nan de sisters are all out,shouldn't we just talk some things out for example she and ling's friendship are on rocks.as sisters,this is what you should be doing meh???ling is making an effort and you are not,it shows.many other issues which i do not wish to mention online.its a sickening and ******* thing.
i went to the movies with trudy and ri xian today.we watched made of honour,a romantic comedy movie la.we wanted to watch chocolate which is a thai action movie but i switched it since trudy says she prefers comedies.i wanted to watch the adam sandler's movie BUT its not showing yet.(aww...so sad) its a pretty ok movie, i enjoyed myself.there are some things i really like about it but i will keep that to myself.just a ordinery happy ending ,everything is easily predicted but everyone needs an everyday story now and then right?haha...after which i sort of drag them off to the market i used to eat at everyday.and wah!!!!i feel so at home there....i missed AMK....all my nice memories were there.it felt great,like someone managed to pull away the chains i had on me.funny rite?but i missed my childhood.like i said before i have my children's day every year so i will be going back to blade around the neighbourhood soon.call me weird,but i like the feeling of home it gives me.
in the mrt we met mr sleepy jeremey.trudy 'shocked' him and sit on him real hard(you can tell from the expression he gives)those people around him laughed in a low profile,except me.i was enjoying the torture that trudy gave him(wicked).haha!i have got a picture up there,told him to smile but he still wanna hide.chae.
AND THIS IS THE BIG THING
miss trudy decided that she wants to be voted for sotong of the year so she ACCIDENTALLY SWAPED my sim card with hers.(she bought a new phone,wanted to transfer the songs to her new phone,did a stupid stunt)
i recieved a msg from an anonymous kitchen staff who tries to be funny and say things like "i also not important, you dont need to know who i am".sounded like some lines from some superhero movie.i got so shocked i told him that i lost my contacts(which is the truth) and asked for his BIG NAME.BIG NAME--> nick( i dunno,trudy dunno and ri xian also dunno,seriously not important)and you know WHO shines the light on me.RI XIAN(i gave you credit,lol).he calls and starts the story line of him messaging 'me' that he was going to sleep,and 'me' replies him that 'i' am reaching home.ri xian thought i lied coz i cant reach home two times so he called only to hear 'me' to be TRUDY. so PLIINNNGGG,he calls 'trudy' to share the big joke.--__--'''hai...trudy ar trudy how sotong can you be???i have to survive your popularity for a night lei....hot stuff in kitchen hor,they will send all sorts of long long chinese msg and weird english short forms.if they call,i will just pretend i didnt see and give you back the miss calls.
what a day......so 'exciting',full of 'surprises'.lol

needles.....sux....

2008-05-16T02:18:00.003+08:00

got rushed into A&E again.......got the huge injection and the sucky faint but cant feeling,lay there for like 6 hours with the oxygen provider(nose got really stiff and cold) and the heart beat indicator machine.beat faster a bit only,everyone starts staring at you,thinking they might suddenly hear a 'toot'.whats more i am all by myself~!how sad is that??!!only one person related to you can come in lei and my dad is busy.
damn sian one...want to attend school also damn hard,wanna take a simple test also cannot make it.why are doctors so stupid nowadays?? they don't know whats wrong with me, don't know what medication to give me,so he decided to give me heart attack medicine...like wth...i don't even have it so why should i take it??-_-'''he was like saying"this medication is for you to maintain a regular heartbeat, take half a pill a day,there might be some side effects like drowsiness." i asked him like three times" what am i suffering from?" he didn't even answer me~!!!what a DOCTOR~! really dumb...I'm sick of this,i have had this for three times,its serious.i need to change a doctor or probably a hospital. so i am gonna save up money or maybe even go for private hospitals,at least they will give me an answer,not like some idiot who wants me to take heart attack medicine when i have a normal heart structure, fine ECG results,and a normal person's blood.the tests are out before this incident and they were all fine(according to the white suit 'doctor').so whats wrong???!!!
eat away my money~! you big fat liar! i am poor you know!

sian

2008-05-13T00:01:00.003+08:00

waste my money......go cardiologist still cant find out what i am having.you bloody idiot!!!waste my money!you are just someone in a white suit.HERZ~!

2008-05-04T20:19:00.006+08:00

hahaha~! sorry i was reALLY bored and started playing the camera of trudy's laptop.and her and her nephew was too cute! i had to put his pictures up.see how peaceful and happy he is when he is sleeping??and the way he bites his toy,hahaha! he is showing a face that says"oh man this is too hard for me!"CUTE! i like babies,they are really innocent and cute.they seem to just pass on their simple happiness to me.so easily contented. and i found a few videos in her laptop too! the videos that we had taken during our sarawak trip for sec3 or 4 i dont really remember.but it shows how BA GAY shan is,her teeth is always out,not like now,dont really see it le,and how cute shikai and alan used to be,and what a lame joker we were.lol

my lap top lost~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@@##$%&%^$#!@#%&

2008-05-03T01:29:00.002+08:00

my lap top now really gone ....don't feel like explaining the procedure anymore,its tedious and i seriously got no mood. i can no longer go to penang with my friends and that i have to work doubly harder right now....i am so sick of myself. i got no time and energy to be bothered about other things anymore,i am just making myself a sadist.

the handphone thing has been a tragic experience and a huge emotional blow for me and now a financial bomb. i am seriously sick of many things le.i have got no will to do things anymore le.i am turning selfish and serious.now is that a good or a bad thing? one blow after another,i am not made of steel...i am human too.....lao tian ye ye,you forgot about me???you know ar,qian ar....how can you forget about her???she is suffering and needs your help desperately.where are you when i need you the most??you are gone.and it feels like you are never coming back.so what happens to me if you decided to be gone???will you at least say goodbye to me???tell me if you are gone ok?and i will start to build defenses around myself and block the harm from coming in.
i can only sleep to distress, to run away,to relax in some place you do not know of.and now,even sleep is taken away from me.why do you haunt me???what is it that you want from me??
why cant you just made me a happy person? why must you give me this?why must i go through this?a blow after another.let me off please, i cant turn to anyone for help coz no one understands,they say they know it but how much do they know??they are only guessing,they don't even understand themselves,how can they know me???do they even know what i am worrying about? i doubt so.its so contradicting,i don't want them to know.
but i seriously thank my friends for their efforts.kent thanks lei~!jeremey thanks lei~!ri xian thanks lei~!shi kai thanks lei~!trudy thanks lei~!thank you ar!

movies i wanna watch~!

2008-04-30T09:47:00.002+08:00

these are the movies that i wanna watch.
the first one is actually "if i were superman",a korean movie.
The two join forces in ``If I Were Superman,'' a story about an unlikely ``hero'' (Hwang), who goes out of his way to help ― or rescue ― the planet by helping senior citizens cross the street and hand-standing in the middle of the road ``to push away'' the detrimental effects of the sun. Jun plays the role of Song Su-jeong, a cynical documentary filmmaker who records his story.
the second one is kung fu panda!!!,i wanna watch it coz its JACK BLACK!lol!the previews are really cute and funny.plus you get to see JACKIE CHAN as a monkey.haha....
Enthusiastic, big and a little clumsy, Po (Jack Black) is the biggest fan of kung fu around…which doesn’t exactly come in handy while working every day in his family’s noodle shop. Unexpectedly chosen to fulfill an ancient prophecy, Po’s dreams become reality when he joins the world of kung fu and studies alongside his idols, the legendary Furious Five—Tigress (Angelina Jolie), Crane (David Cross), Mantis (Seth Rogen), Viper (Lucy Liu) and Monkey (Jackie Chan)—under the leadership of their guru, Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman). But before they know it, the vengeful and treacherous snow leopard Tai Lung (Ian McShane) is headed their way, and it’s up to Po to defend everyone from the oncoming threat. Can he turn his dreams of becoming a kung fu master into reality? Po puts his heart into the task, and the unlikely hero ultimately finds that his greatest weaknesses turn out to be his greatest strengths.
the third one is 'you don't mess with the zohan'.ADAM SANDLER! how can you not watch his comedies????!!!! the longest yard was one of the best movies i had seen and adam sandler was the main actor for it. he is extremely good with comedies,you gotta admit that. you should see the preview."i am from hostralia(australia)" and the "hangaroos" thing.like his accent in the movie,fan-tars-tic.
In You Don't Mess with The Zohan, a hilarious comedy from screenwriters Judd Apatow (Knocked Up) and Adam Sandler, Sandler stars as Zohan, an Israeli anti terrorist commando who fakes his own death in order to pursue his dream: becoming a hairstylist in New York.

Dennis Dugan (Big Daddy, I Now Pronounce you Chuck & Larry) directs; co-starring Rob Schneider with special appearances by Mariah Carey & Henry Winkler

overseas study

2008-04-27T22:39:00.002+08:00

yah! believe it or not,chia yi qian wants to study!lol.....its real.i wanna study and i wanna make sure that i am able to get into a uni in UK.haha...another joke right?thats what you will probably take out and say as a joke of the day,but the joke of the day is trully what i want to do. i know the limits,i know the impossible stuffs,but i also know that i have only this life and that there is the age thing and you only got one chance.
i don't wanna lose that chance.i don't know how long it will take for me to get there,but i will be there. this will be my goal for this year and the following years,TILL I GET THERE!don't tell me that it is impossible,coz its not.don't tell me that this is just wishful thinking,coz it wont be if you try hard enough.thats what i believe,as long as you perservere,that is nothing i cannot acheive.don't tell me words of discouragement,its shit.I don't care if you refuse to believe me,but i care if you think i am joking or just think that its a 'hot moment' thing.

new dish and terrible RJ question

2008-04-25T23:00:00.006+08:00

nokia phone sucks!
the pictures i took are like really ugly,the effcts like shit like that.
show it to you.

"Communication does not depend on syntax,or eloquence or rhetoric or artculation but also on emotinal context ,in which the message is being heard,Attitudes are the real figures of speech"-Edwin Friedman.What do you think is the role of effective communication between a doctor a patient and a pharmacist? -->what kind of question is this???!!! literature oh?! this is like very CHIM CME(civics moral education)
simplify it--> logic questions made hard.
conculsion-->she likes to tekan people,enjoys torturing our broken souls,and she obviously dont like giving her A(s) that easily.
she is indian,another faci who is damn tacky is also a indian.i think all indian facis love torturing their students!

new menu of the day,bonjour ami!délicatesse ici!

1)salmon
2)salt
3)pepper
4)self made onion garlic mayo
5)lime skin slices
extra virgin olive oil
rub salt onto your salmon slices and sprinkle pepper on it.
add in two to three teaspoons of extra virgin olive oil
slice out your lime and cut it into thinner slices and sprinkle onto your salmon.
let it marinate for like 30 mins and you can grill or steam it
and tadah!!!!!!
thats what it will actually look like before and after.

looks super delicious right! it is!hahaha! i had a fun time too,want makan can.pay me first then i will decide if i should cook for you or not.lol!

i have been aiming this perfume and necklace for some time.i might buy it this month oh!

ah lah!

2008-04-23T14:52:00.003+08:00

feel so tired......work and study have fully occupied my life!study from 8.30 to 4 then start work at six all the way till eleven or later.no life lei,so hard to breathe.i seriously love holidays...haha!but no choice,school just start and i told myself to be good.all i can do is just grumble and keep on grumbling(niao num niao).the people in my classes have been really nice and fine la,just a few arseholes.will not bother much about them,since i find no fun in tormenting them.(i'm another asshole)
MS and shan's birthday,glenn's too are coming and mother's day are all coming in may! oh....i can already see where my money will go....poor ar....let me be the luckiest girl on earth!let me find money on the floor to splurge!haha...so unrealistic.

yo!

2008-04-19T23:20:00.002+08:00

it has been a LONG TIME! i am lazy to blog,seriously it is troublesome.
lots of things happen these days but you know what? i am lazy to type it out.after this,i will be enjoying music while i try to force my fats out.
A BOOK-->
i just finished reading a book.its called the five people you meet in heaven by mitch albom.its good not great coz i liked it but not love it.after reading i felt older,i understood things better.believe me,just after 5 hours of reading,i felt OLDER.you might think this is funny,but its the damn truth.its like i do know what the book was teaching.the book acts like a reminder,a hard one to tell you to remember all these stuff.sounds like a scary book eh?but its still good,a recommended read.all the five people in heaven are people who had changed his life in a way or another.you will seriously consider being a scientist to do more research on 'fate' and 'truth'.woooo...hard to explain the feelings of reading the book.its like you were pushed to face something that you did not expect to.AND it just make heaven sound like a place that is not so bad after all.haha....
alright back to what i feel like saying.cosmetic surgery!
seriously,do you ever think that there is a need for you to get a surgery somewhere? breast implants,a nose job,botox,liposuction? no one is perfect in this world that we know.but everyone would wish for things like a better figure,a more attractive face,BUT not everyone would wanna do that.why? I DONT KNOW. i just think that all these are supposed to be wishful thinking,which means it is not supposed to come true.after all,are these stuff really important?so what if you managed to acheive all these?
whats more
have you even considered whats gonna happen when you get old?like breast implants???your breast WILL sag when you are old,so what would happen to those silicon bags???-_-'''will they stay where they are?well if they do then congratz,you have '2' breasts now.and those nose jobs....listen to my advice,do not irritate anyone in your lifetime coz if you managed to irritate someone like me i would drain your savings by giving a nice hit on your nose and i cant imagine what happens to those crushed plastic in your nose.plus you cant even push your nose.haha...enough of this, i am being really stupid now.

home

2008-03-16T23:23:00.002+08:00

it will always smell like sunshine. the walls will be filled with beautifully bright colours. my windows will be dressed with long and white curtains and accompanied with greenerys i adore.i will have a small yellow table decorated with little vases and roses.a flat TV surronded by many book shelves filled with best sellers.a gigantic radio and great speakers.not forgetting a cushioned rocking chair by the window.walk down the corridor filled with thousands of photographs,and walk into my messy room.filled with clothes,brushes,paint,crayons,and again filled with tall wooden book shelves.i will use one of the shelves to put my clothes, accessories and shoes.have a little desk,that can be used as my dining table.most importantly i will have a huge 4 poster canopy bed!and i will have lots of cushions on it.as usual,books will be left on it.i will have a covered garden with my pets living in it.a golden retriever,a bearded collie and a mini pig!
sounds unreal right?
thats my home,my only escape and i will go to it in my dreams.=)

so sian!!!!!

2008-02-22T02:42:00.002+08:00

someone said that i am too judgmental on things.its like black is black and white is white,there wont be other sides.i totally agree on that.i am a stubborn bitch,its hard for me to accept things which i find shouldn't be working in that way.and he said that i have to go easy on people.so this is just what i am gonna do now.i won't care much about them anymore.i cannot treat them as true and real friends anymore.we will still talk,play and do whatever shits but there is just a limit to what i can do for them.coz i feel that my existence is just there coz its there,they don't appreciate it so why should i? i have truly opened my eyes and mind. OHM!!! gotta learn to stay as calm as water and as happy as the old yiqian.
"let the ugly die off,no point saving them when its only you doing it."thats what he taught me to see and understand,and what the rest are doing.i am sad for them,they won't have friends anymore,their friends are phony.
back to my world.
i have been working like mad recently.gopa said"i keep seeing you recently ar"of coz! i have been working almost everyday.earn lots of money! but seriously i do not know what to spend on.nothing i am really interested in.all the bags,clothes,accessories and shoes.i never get enough of them.sometimes i tend to question myself" is there a need for me to get it? what is the definition of the 'need'?when is the time i need to buy these stuff?" i will never get an answer.maybe this is what they say,something like you start to ponder how your life works and the things that is really important in your life? have you ever asked yourself?what are the things you cannot lose and gotta have? are your goal seriously something a need a must for you to have?so when you have it,whats the next step?what do you wanna achieve and whats the purpose of achieving it?
all i know now is that i gotta finish this diploma of mine.after much talking to my long time no see brother,the design course don't seem that important anymore.he says that i just wanna prove somethings to myself.i am not loving and wanting it with a huge passion,so he didn't encourage it,if not he could loan money to me to study the full four years course to get an honors!!!!!!!!like OMFG~! i seriously need to rethink.not with the money issues he mentioned but more of do i really want it?and whats my main purpose for getting it.what i wanna do after that.i need to think and think and think.hai......i am getting grey hairs for this.(just kidding,i never had one)
it feels great talking to him.have not seen him for like hmmm....three years???i guess so,i don't really remember le,hahaha.....sorry la.pai seh.he will be going off soon le.hai!!!!!!i will miss ya for sure!!!!

try too hard

2008-02-18T02:04:00.002+08:00

sometimes i just think that i tried too hard,and i made things difficult for myself ba.i try to do things which makes sense and helps.sometimes,people just don't care,so why am i still helping them and giving them chances again and again???why should i do so much when they don't even give a damn on how they actually are. they don't even mind being some disgusting bitches they "say" they don't like(so contradicting) or the bastards they say got no bloody brains.
i am no god of mercy and ain't a saint.
so i told myself one thing.some things can be changed while others cannot.i can't change everything that i don't like,so its either i give up or leave it as it is and seriously SHOW NO CONCERN at all.now that i have made myself pretty clear, i guess i made it a point to give some sort of 'warning' to almost everyone.
i can't play,tolerate or be HGL all the way in my life.when school reopens,i am gonna be so god damn serious.i don't know why,i just got the sudden urge to screw people whom i cannot tolerate any longer.i feel that it is seriously time for everyone around me to grow up la!!!stop playing around like there is no tml.i can't understand why some times you guys can act so stupid when you are like 19 or even more this year????use your brains man,its there for a purpose,ok? stop making it look like a ornament.
i am not that nice anymore am i?
i am having a huge temper now,i am not say anything nice at all.

pictures on V day

2008-02-16T03:30:00.009+08:00

valentine's day!

2008-02-15T01:34:00.002+08:00

actually nothing much......hahaha....i celebrated it with my friends.met out my sisters and gave them the prettily decorated notebooks to them(better than them not even being able to finish writing or buy lo!!!!!!)
ate sakae and ling and min had to go first liao,after which left only me and shan.gotta pretty bored and remembered lao yao having off today.wanted to kaypo who he actually went out with,so decided to give him a call to disturb.in the end he was just sleeping at home,so i managed to 'convince' him to come out.hang around orchard abit with danny joining and the four of us went to icy bar,danny's previous working place to drink and eat things lo. the live music was great!!!!!!!!!they sang real old songs and even sang 'wonderwall' by oasis. i was going" woo!!!!!!!!".i did enjoy myself in there.singing along with the couple.the lady keep smiling at us,must be me mouthing all those songs.,attract her attention.definitely will patronize the place again.i wanna hear the couple sing again!

gotta keep my path

2008-02-06T02:16:00.000+08:00

yup thats right, i need to keep track of myself.been so busy lately(lazy too), i don't have time to blog and talk to my dearest people.my schedules are so damn full! but i requested them myself de la so gotta work through this few months and EARN BIG MONEY!lol! ang bao money also must earn so gotta plan out the houses i will be visiting.(LOL!)who don't want ang paos??!!
my mouth taste of blood,coz the back of my gums are bleeding like crazy....T-T
okay by to the main point.my aim is to get a marc jacobs bag this year!(what an aim)
not to pon sch for the coming semesters(get it over with!)
save as much money as possible,not to spend too much on food.(learn to cook it and save my money)
give great service and get great tips =P
get an bigger idea of what i wanna pursue.
persuade every single soul that i really wanna to IT!!!!eh...sorry i mean convince.
the most of all,give myself a good chance to be someone i wanna be.BE ME!

talk about the girlssss

2008-02-05T10:52:00.000+08:00

i love their eyes!

i was talking to this guy friend about mine and he decided to ask me things like "who do you think looks really pretty and which guy will you call hot?"
and i thought for a while and said" adam levine and adriana lima"
and his was reaction was totally unexpected and really funny.
he replied" what?! avril lavigne is pretty???!!!"
LOL!!!!!!!!i said -adam levine-,and he took it for the punk and pop singer avril lavigne.i laughed for a real while and he was so stunned at my sudden outburst.i don't blame him.it sound alike to a certain extent.but adriana lima sounded like a guy???no way! no guy cannot not know about her!she is one of the victoria's secret angel and for that i am gonna call him mountain turtle. i just think that both of them look really sexy and have well defined features and their eyes seem to grab hold of you.thats what i really think.and his answers were all asian. i dont think ah sa looks pretty...she is more cute than pretty but i agree with him that tony leung does look good.he cant agree with me coz he don't know who i was talking about.so!
i am gonna post their pictures here.lol!

choices

2008-02-04T00:34:00.000+08:00

what a sensitive topic.i don't remember anything about me having a strong desire to be born in this world.i only remember knowing how scary and unpredictable death can be.
i tried to get a goal in life to pursue,a reason why life can be exciting,but it was never excepted by anyone.i tried finding people to rely on,make them my place to hide,but what i get was the more ugly side of things around me.i tried what they say happiness,laugh at everything single little thing,be optimistic,and i was condemned for being happy.they say to be more realistic and serious.infinite mountains started appearing in my mind. nothing was possible anymore.everything including me turned ugly. life became harder and harder,soon breathing became a difficulty,pain became a familiar stranger,sickness was developed,so is my fear.kindness seemed twisted and i was never able to believe in something for long. my sense of security was taken again and again,till i can never find it anymore,not even in my dreams.
i lost myself to my fears.i get happy and smile but i realize i am always afraid that something will break soon.i am afraid of boulders hitting at the same time.if all of the boulders drop,my tolerance for life will break.
told to find myself back,to stand high and worry about nothing because everything will soon be gone by the wind.
i took a glimpse below and i fell.i don't know when i will ever hit ground
by then, i will get to know whats "there is no place like heaven" meant.

mj's comeback

2008-01-29T17:14:00.001+08:00

hey guys! Michael is back into the new generation for his pop king title.i don't know when his new album is coming out coz it is not decided yet.currently this is a remix version of an old song of his, well i never heard of this song so i pretty like the remix.(LOL) BUT BUT BUT, he will be releasing an anniversary album,"thriller", his best album in 'history'. this is one of the songs in it. it will be out in feb,which is real soon!
i am a fan of michael J,how can you deny his talent??=P

FUCKING STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-01-24T16:22:00.001+08:00

i am sorry but i had no choice to say that my mum is a fucking stupid idiot! all she does is help her most useless son.my dad is so bloody blind.why do everyone in my family wanna act dumb and pretend that this family is functioning well. i finally understand why my family is always that poor! its all because of my stupid parents. one do not know what is save and spend whatever shit he was given on things that are not needed.while the other just keep giving away money and keeps trying to get help from me coz she gt no money! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!
why do i have to feel that i own you so much??!!why don't you fucking understand that he is so not gonna change! and he is just treating you like some stupid bitch who is willing to give him money as long as he ask??you don't even know what the hell he has been doing.all your damn money goes to his moss containing guitar,endless games,stupid porno,great handphone bills and even condoms! i feel so fucking fed up! whats all the talk i had with you?? if your sons are so freaking important,then please imagine that you never had a daughter. i don't want to be your daughter! I DON'T WANT!!!!!!!!!!!

hmmm?

2008-01-20T20:11:00.000+08:00

seriously i don't know what to blog....hohoho....ok,i know!
on sat i met hui yun to shop for new year clothes at orchard.and oh my! i just hope that you will get to see it. wisma actually hired people to act as traffic coordinators to direct you to the mall. whats interesting is that they don't direct in the normal way,they were dancing to songs and the song just so happen to be justin's lovestoned.hahahaha! so cool!
the malls were pretty packed but manage to find something for huiyun.(last minute)
ling came back with a CUTE gift for me. the head of kon(from bleach).its so cute la!!!!!hahaha! cant help but smile at it his face.and aiyo,she grew fat again.must be the sudden change in weather and good food.i won't mind getting fats if i get to feel be in winter and also have good food everyday!(WHO MINDS???!!!)
decided to work like crazy! oh pray man! pray for my health! pray that i don't get attracted to good food.LOL!

not well

2008-01-17T14:50:00.001+08:00

gosh....i don't even know if i am really sick or not sick...i have not been sick for quite a long time,can't even remember how it feels like, and i cant differentiate it now.just like i can't differentiate lots of things.
well, i was starting to feel a rising fever before going to st james,but i thought it was my imagination(my excuse to go home and sleep).i did had the fever,and gosh...never ever go to a club when you are sick. the loud music makes you feel like killing the people around you and the drinks just make you feel like "give me water please".
now i feel weak and really feel like sleeping all day.
i try my best OH! in fact, after a while i felt better(from the lime juice).they say i don't even look like someone who is sick. ain't i good and convincing. the music makes me happy.=)
and oh boy! SUE DANCES WELL! danny says she itchy,LOL! i think she is fine lo,jeremey looks more itchy than her,LOL! we did had our fun la and hui yun learnt how to d-a-n-c-e in the club,hahaha. shan needs more training! she has got all the good trainers. danny and me,we are the kings.(hahaha...like real)

what i want

2008-01-14T13:39:00.000+08:00

i seriously don't understand what i want anymore,so i am gonna keep my options wide open,do the things that would simply be right.
work till i die
save as much money as possible
buy whatever i feel like to

i don't know what to say

2008-01-06T00:38:00.000+08:00

maybe i am too tired? maybe i am just getting emo again. i don't know. i just kept thinking and thinking. the more i think about it,the more frustrated and hurt i get. I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel so fed up of everything! i can't make a choice or run away from it! so its like argghhh~! ERASE MY MEMORY~! then i don't have to fret about all this stuffs anymore.T-T

arrrrr~~~~~~~!!!!so unlucky!

2008-01-04T01:05:00.000+08:00

f@#$^@$&%$@~! i accidentally tripped on my laptop's power cable's wire and it dragged my laptop to the floor with a huge BOOM! there goes my my hard disk~! oh gosh! oh shit~! no lap tops. my pictures are gone,my fav music flown away,my precious X JAPAN'S LAST LIVE VIDEOS GONE TOO~! BITCH!!!!!!!cannot man~! i will retrieve those stuff,but there is always a price to pay, i would need to work extra extra hard now and save up already~! maggie mee and biscuits on standby mode. no more junk food or good food from restaurants...T-T.no more movies,no more nice clothes.......ar~! no life lei!

LOL! this is me!HAHAHA....!

2008-01-02T19:10:00.001+08:00

but i prefer to have the first oraNge monkey.hahaha!
You are Orange Monkey, who is lively, fresh and give an active impression.
Your personality is straight forward, and is a very attractive person to be with.
You are also very sociable, and can keep an eye on people too.
Nevertheless, you tend to be rather nervous and worry about things bit too much.
You tend to have a needless fear.
You come up with ideas very quickly, but at the same time, you can easily give up.
You lack perseverance.
You should be more open and natural to have a foresight for the future.
You have an instinct to attract people.
You are a charismatic person to whom people naturally get attracted.
You have a flexibility to be able to adapt to any circumstance, and know how to get ahead in life.
You never miss to calculate the profit and loss, and live life rationally.
This makes you difficult to have an intimate relationship.
Once you set an objective, you will work extremely hard to achieving it, and can exercise great tactics.
Nevertheless, you tend to easily change your target as well.
You tend to be very independent woman, and will hate to be restricted to your family.
You may start to feel your family to be an obstruction to your life.
If you can have a job that would act as a freshener, your life would be smoother.
You tend to have a fantasy world in your head, and may hold a girlish dream all through your life.
After getting married, your family will be important to you, and you will be able to raise a happy family.

new year eve and my "BIG" plans

2008-01-01T23:31:00.000+08:00

yesterday was pretty fun la.opps, i sound so sarcastic.lol...! this is how it goes, we were supposed to meet at eight plus,although the place is really near. as usual, it dragged and dragged to nine fifteen. jere parked his bicycle at my house and met shan and ms below my house.the driver uncle was really nice, he even stopped the meter just to wait for us.lol! after which we went to shan's factory. i say its shan's but she don't even know how to go to her own company...! gosh! we turned one huge around before arriving at the destination, we even got to those very deserted places with many dark creatures(Bangladesh).opps,sorry.
when we arrive we were felt that we should not be there. it looked and IS gathering that is not suitable for youngsters like us;we should be having a countdown PARTEH~! we had no spaces to eat our food so her mum said that we can have our dinner cum supper in the office. woo~! VIPs.hahaha... the dad was not really his normal self he offered me an entire bottle of chilled red wine!-_-''' but i did drink =p,but only one glass.the rest lao yao gulped finish.=P(shan and ms drank a bit only)(esp ms,she hate it,she thinks its vinegar)
we shat a lot mostly about lame stuffs,and pretty much threatenings.when it was nearly time for countdown we went outside to find many already drunk and flopped.we kinda forgot about the countdown coz we started hearing fireworks booms and started running to watch them. wasn't able to capture any of them coz it was way too small. all we did were little gestures of happy new year and an extra bitch hit me hard in the breast. so stupid! 19 already still so that.HMPH! i hit her back twice,lol!=D
we got pretty bored and started wondering around the place. it had a great view and the winds were cooling and fantastic.we got so bored, we even took pictures of our shadows. lame right?lol!
hmmm... new year plans eh?
not much.
i have decided to force myself to be a hard bitch!!!!!! i will train myself to not be WEAK! to stop seeking attention from my family(it just makes me feel like an unwanted child,and i don't need all that sadness).

FINE

2007-12-27T21:16:00.001+08:00

i promise! i promise not to be bothered and care so much! you happy now?

ladies night

2007-12-27T19:19:00.000+08:00

this is the pic jere took while he is on stage and us below....ugly man....

decided to take shan clubbing since she has never been to one before.the people who went with us were chang yuh and jeremey. jeremey has complimentary tickets so chang yuh's entry was supposed to be free,and we thought that we were supposed to be going to zouk. but that stupid gong kia,seemed to imagined the tickets belong to Zouk coz it belongs to saint james power station.we only know about it when we were all out of the house. i was like "thanks ar".
we thought we would be having a car,thus we should not be spending much.BUT!!! ah yuh couldn't get the car.T-T and i have to wear that outfit and take a train???!! i just feel really really weird....(maybe i am just not used to it)
anyway skip all those long and unwanted details of our sad journey.
we arrived there at around 10.45,and well there was not a line,nor a crowd in the place.we were given 5 coupons(drinks)(shan and me),jere and yuh had only two(lol).
so we sort of shared our coupons. well everyone knows me, as long as there is good music, i will get high.i don't really need alcohol to get the extra jab to dance.shan says that i know how to "zhi high",so i don't need to drink,which is pretty true.hahaha...shan and jere needed the giddy feeling to dance,they sort of gulped down the drinks,well, i gulped coz i am thirsty,the only effect i get from alcohol,is heat and redness,thats it. high? sorry i don't really think so.jere got EXTREMELY high and went to dance on the stage himself coz non of us wanted to join in.in the end i got pulled up by him and gain a blue black on my right thigh....the idiot...we dance and dance till two and i decided that we should get a bite coz my stomach was rumbling. we ate our hotdogs and talked about....eh... don't think i should say it here,in case one of them reads it.lol...think i leaked something out.anyway we had a fun time and shared cab home.ah yuh stayed with jere coz the of the cab fares(exp!)it was a pretty good night and jere said" we should do this once a month".hmmm... we shall see eh??(although i replied him "twice") if i have time and money,why not??(maybe la maybe)haha...!

all i will ever hate,is me.

2007-12-24T03:19:00.000+08:00

no one knows how i feel and go through everyday.its not that they don't care,they just can't seem to understand.i don't blame them,because not even my family understands me.my birthday wish didn't come true at all,things never change for the better.i just really really hope that my brothers start thinking! i have been suffering for so many years for them,and my mum.my dad? he knows nothing about the family. he don't even bother to find out. i can't understand him.he tries talking to us,but the things are those we never bother to talk about. he knows it,i just can't understand why is it that hard to sit down and ask us about what we want,our future plans,what we are doing? am i the only one who thinks that fathers are supposed to be doing this?why am i the only person in the family who is actually doing something to keep us as a family?
i did whatever i could do,you know? i always talk to my mum,coz i know she needs company and help,she don't go out with friends often or shop at all, so i try to buy things for her and talk about anything in the world to keep our bond.all she thinks about is money,and i cannot blame her because of the situation she is in. i love my mum,she is the only one with real brains in the house. at least she thinks well,but not when it comes to my brothers. she keep foreseeing them being very good in the future and that future just seems further and further away.my brothers are constantly in dreamland and cyber world,they never wake up to reality.my dad...i seriously don't know what to say about him. i guess our talks are mainly on the increasingly expensive bills,his weird cooking skills and TV shows. we don't really talk that much. i feel irritated when he opens his mouth, i just can't help but think that i have a father who don't give a damn about us.when my brothers smoke,he shouts at them with words you never want to hear and even fights with them.after a few days,everything just seem to be back in normal.you get what i mean? his solutions are temporarily,not one of them falls into the permanent category.he don't even care about himself much,so don't even talk about us.he just make sure that we don't die.his way of caring is thin.the things he cared for are not the things i want him to. i just.....i am so tired of all these.......he used to be the best dad and i used to be really happy. what went wrong???
i hate myself for all these things.maybe if i was more hardworking and clever,my family would be in a better situation,and maybe i will be satisfied with what i have, and i will be happy.

freedom writers

2007-12-21T23:01:00.000+08:00

i have to say its one of the best movies i have seen. the teacher in the movie is brilliant. she does know how to communicate with her students and does many things for her students. she treats every single student like her own children. i would want a teacher like her too!
well, the story is mainly about this new teacher who wants to teach in a place called the long beach. this is place is pretty well known for racial riots and blah blah blah. the people there form gangs to protect themselves. everyday,they would have to face their enemies,who beat them up and kill them for the color of their skin...mainly he differences between them. they do not understand what harmony truly is,they have not seen it before. Miss G comes into the picture and tries to settle it all. as usual she faces lots of problems. the staffs in the school were unsupportive as they did not believe or rather like the problematic students. they just leave them to rot away.there were other problems too. the students did not believe in her,for she is a stranger and never seen such racial riots happen before her eyes,whats more,she is just a teacher,a new one.
the movie shows how she manage to enter the hearts of the students and how her marriage fell apart.its really nice and very realistic.it brings light upon people who thought that America is a 'nice' country. they have problems too,its just that we are not that observant and we are not their people.
if you think that your life sucks,coz its boring and that you are poor or whatever it is that makes you miserable. please watch the movie,they are still not the worst you have seen. their lives might make you feel you are way better than me,it can also show how naive and silly you are.
and here are the videos!!!(my trip)

2007-12-20T20:25:00.000+08:00

these are the people in the trip and more below.=)

love the otters~! they are so cute!
will upload more when i have the time.now i wanna watch movies.hohoho..=D

i'm weak...only for now

2007-12-19T03:27:00.000+08:00

i am back from sarawak and running a small fever.just five days and i am already sick,wonder if i decided to stay elsewhere permanent,would it cause my death?haha...i still need my mum,she is great in taking care of me as i do not know how to take care of myself(was told so).
i just think i am really weak,not only my immunity system but also in many other things.there will be a limit to my weakness, i promised myself that. and i will have to know when to be as strong as i am supposed to be.no matter what others think of me, i will still do it.coz, there is just no place for me to fall, i can only stop in my tracks or keep moving on. it is just impossible for me to stop forever right?i cannot and will not collapse, i will not be WEAK!
the last quarter is here, and i will make it work.

third day in sarawak

2007-12-16T10:02:00.000+08:00

brrrr.....its so cold in the hotel.this stupid internet access is EXPENSIVE but hey, i am not paying for it!LOL! well, i have been to quite many places these few days,the ride was not really enjoyable coz four of us are sitting behind and gosh,we needed space.
well, we have been to the crocodile farm,bako national reserve, damai beach resortS, the night market and the cultural village. money is leaking out real fast. i have already spent like 300 now.a ticket into the cultural village was like 60 for adults and 30 for students,but stupid trudy didn't bring her student ID,so she gotta pay the full amount and anderson is not a student at all ok.so we gotta share the amount that has to be paid.....hai.....no money sia...then the short boat ride to bako cost 94 dollars,even entering the park needed money.oh man...is there a place where money is not needed in this world??? i just hope there will be at least one nice place. the bad luck has been following me for some time here. its just SUAI man~! when we are on the boat to bako,it started drizzling and soon,it was pouring on us.wind plus the rain make me wet all the way,and they started blaming me coz i refuse to postpone the trip.it stop raining when we were in the jetty but started when we were like a few meters away from the jetty. i had the most of it recorded so i am gonna upload it in a few days time. my shirt from pull and bear have some pretty obvious alien colours on it now,coz my cap was red and the dye got into my shirt during the watery boat ride.well,it was a terrible and memorable experience. and its all thanks to me. i still think its fun but i don't think it will be for the rest. i am fine with anything but i don't think they will be la.
i have been eating good food all day,so lets just pray i don't get fat that soon ya?lol!

i need a heart of stone

2007-12-13T15:05:00.000+08:00

i am not weak,stupid or silly.i know what is going on and the solution is crystal clear to me.its just that i have a huge problem with my heart,it never listens to my brain. maybe thats the answer to the unexpected palpitations i have.it makes me stupid,weak and very silly.(thats what you said i am)its not something i can changed,maybe after a heart transplant i might be good and well again.hahaha...i do treat this as a disease because its not something within my reach and control.no one can save me,thats sad,especially when i need a lot of 'external' help.tell me what to do...or maybe force me to do it,before i ever hurt myself again. you have been very good at it,you have been able to stop many things from happening,well except this. i just don't know what to do.leave it aside and wait for time to pass is just not my style. i can't wait for it to pass,you know what happens.
i need a heart of stone
so maybe i would need to be hurt again.

hai hai hai

2007-12-07T03:44:00.000+08:00

think i am gonna die soon if i don't get some sleep......there is a hurricane running in my head..everything is s damn mixed up!sleep,brain!

lazy........

2007-12-06T02:10:00.000+08:00

oh i am so damn lazy to blog......lol........my birthday was pretty good. gotten many presents from friends. thanks ar!lol..... shan gave me this weird looking dress which is not my type,but i accepted it,after all she took time to find it,though she and that cow's taste wasn't good...lol...i still take it coz its a present from my bestest friends. kai bought me a white bag from bugis,its cute.i like it =). abby gave me a branded hankie with his lip prints on it(huge turn off),because he gave me such an interesting accessory(he claims,exquisite),i decided to 'hong hui'(return it to him).jeremey sort of treat me to a meal and provided the birthday cake for dinner.lucien bought for me a necklace from perlin's silver,it looks really cute and reminds me of the candy my mum used to give me when i refused to play alone.thats a good and bad memory,lonely days.
seriously,i think i spend less than 10 dollars for a whole full day out in town. most of it,my 'mum'(kai) pay for me...i feel guilty....so i am gonna make sure his birthday,it will be my turn to spend!
AND YA!

THIS IS FOR RIXIAN and everyone else---->he lives in bukit batok not bukit timah!lol......see i clear the misunderstanding liao,no more unreal facts about you eh?and ya this fella only know my birthday on the day itself,still sms to ask if i gt work or not.lol....

decided!

2007-12-02T21:56:00.000+08:00

i have decided i am gonna go get a trim tml. its way too messy! i can always ask alina if there is any birthday discounts.LOL! hohoho!
i had my lunch cum dinner at brewerks today with jere, shu, alvin and hui yun. it was damn fulfilling!i still feel its existence in my stomach.too much! we had mussels(delicious!),whitebait, and i ate forelamb shank, jere ate cowboy burger,shu ate white cod, huiyun ate ney york steak and alvin;rib-eye steak.sounds good eh?lol! OMG! i just love the mussels! if only i can get my hands on the recipe!this feast only cost me 16 dollars. judging from the size of my waist to my satisfied taste buds,i say its a really good deal! although my birthday is just a few hours away(i was born during midnight),i don't really feel excited or whatever.is it weird?tsk....i really don't know why i feel this way but 'whatever will be will be'.
arggghhhhh! my lips kept splitting! blood blood blood! all i taste is blood!ewww!cure it!
so tired, not gonna say more