i am not weak,stupid or silly.i know what is going on and the solution is crystal clear to me.its just that i have a huge problem with my heart,it never listens to my brain. maybe thats the answer to the unexpected palpitations i have.it makes me stupid,weak and very silly.(thats what you said i am)its not something i can changed,maybe after a heart transplant i might be good and well again.hahaha...i do treat this as a disease because its not something within my reach and control.no one can save me,thats sad,especially when i need a lot of 'external' help.tell me what to do...or maybe force me to do it,before i ever hurt myself again. you have been very good at it,you have been able to stop many things from happening,well except this. i just don't know what to do.leave it aside and wait for time to pass is just not my style. i can't wait for it to pass,you know what happens.
i need a heart of stone
so maybe i would need to be hurt again.
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