i'm not fine

have you ever had a fear of something???so great that it makes your legs wobbly,drains the energy out of you and makes you shiver???i have.and you dont understand it.its fine,don't make me sound ridiculous,i am not joking around about the fear,its true and its something that i can't stop.its not like i wanted it.its not like i like it.its something i can't control and defeat.don't talk like its nothing,coz its a huge deal to me.don't get it,fine.don't give me a look that seems to me that i am telling you a ridiculous big joke.