lots of things happen in a flash recently....feel really tired of handling such things.......i just really wished and hoped that everyone will be more understanding and please listen to what i have to say.because whatever i say,i am serious about it and i definitely know how to think.please do not put words into my mouth.if i caused any misunderstandings between us,i am really sorry,i never meant to hurt anyone.
and to you who thinks that i am only with him because he treats me well or whatever you are thinking.i am not
i know very clearly what my feelings are.i know what i have said before,i did not want a boyfriend currently in my life,because my life is chaotic and i definitely do not wanna drag anyone down.
i can only say feelings are uncontrollable. i fell in love with him,and i don't think he will ever leave me in the lurch.i know that he will always be there for me,and i need him to be.
i missed his craps,i liked his 'singular' laughs even though its there to irritate me,i like it when he laughs terribly,i like it when he snuggles up to me,i like it when he says zhu xiao qian,i like listening to his stories,i like it when he sings to me in SMS,i like it when he try to drop little hints here and there(yea,i know,i just keep quiet nia),i like it when he kisses my forehead,i like it when he tells me stupid jokes,i like it when he gives me stupid faces when he starts fishing me,i smile at his msgs,and laughs at his uniqueness,i simply love to be with him.and when he is not around i feel empty.we may not like the same things,and we might be really different in everything,but there is one simple thing we definitely share,its a huge love bond between us,and that is the main important thing we ever have to share.
you can tell me this is some extraordinary friend thing i feel for him but i just think its not that way.i don't really care about the inferiority thing,i only care about what my and his heart feels.that's all it really matters.
i may have hurt some people because of that,but if you don't understand some things,no matter whatever i do,you will still stay at the same place. if i keep considering about your well-being,who is gonna consider his and mine?no matter what,you still have to face this one day,its the same.i will never hurt him to save you from this misery.
2 comments:
right, dont worry. its not misery, its jus a little sadness. perhaps you're right, its xi guan. and the feeling has changed. and its not 'gone', its just not the same, cus youre still in my head, but maybe its just the shadow of the absence. and i think you're right, my feelings for you have also changed, like whats yours to me too. and yesh, good guys and sincered guys are attractive. so, ive gotta admit, im nowhere near the both. and if its sorry to me, im sorry to you too. and for now, if its friendship that u're looking at for the both of us, "that" has gotta wait. it isnt just me that need time to adapt, i think its the both of us, right? cheerie up, life maybe unfair for you at times, but hey! its making up for you right now.
my life isnt gonna be all bad too, so, don't worry.
cheerie up, best wishes for the both of you.
-shikai!
ouh yea. dont worry bout the reply, cus currently i dont have any 'platform' that you can leave your words, so, just keep it in your mind. :D
-shikai!
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