SIAN

i know the holidays are just around the corner.but i am not looking forward to it at all.....i will have to work at full blast and the only break i will ever have is just the penang trip ba? PATHETIC lei.....money is a really big issue for this month and the next few months to come.....don't wanna shop le...
anyway met ling on the way back home,we had dinner together and simply chatted fro like two to three hours.(terrible hor?) we talked about everything in the WORLD.lol! but anyway,she wants to meet 'us' and seriously like go out together and chill.so sisters looking at this,make yourself available on saturdays in JUNE.thats the only day she is free,i will try my best to make myself free too.hehe.
and yea,i bought a book again.don't yell at me,i know i bought a lot of books but its for my entertainment.=P go out,i sure spend money de,might as well buy a few books and stay home to read???haha! i am not emo-ing.
skinny called me up to me her problem la,so i had to entertain her for like a while,make her laugh la,promise her that i will be there as long as she needed help.i will kill that asshole if i were her,she damn ker lian de lo!cannot say much,its too personal.
after which i was doing my stuff and ri xian miss call me.so i called back with my HP,thinking its something short ba.in the end we chatted for one and a half hour.he got no free incoming and i got no free outgoing.fantastic,so i wont be the only one seeing high soaring phone bills for this month.lol!i didn't realize it till i was about to sleep.we chatted about almost everything in the world,horror movies la,fiona la,and blah blah blah.
my day yesterday was really chatty.....talk and talk and talk.

pictures taken

i really really did like the BLUE BLOUSE.wei hong said that i look like a air stewardess.LOL! i wont buy it la,its too expensive.$118 if i am not wrong and ya,its only the a blouse and it cost that much!

stop crying your heart out---oasis

Hold up
Hold up
Don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone

May you smile(may you smile)
Shine on(shine on)
don't be scared (don't be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm

cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take What you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Get up(get up)
Come On (Come on
Why're you scared? (i'm not scared)
You'll never change
What's been and gone.

Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on you way
And stop crying your heart out

Cos all of the stars
Ae fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on you way
And stop crying your heart out

We're all of us stars
we're fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see us some day
Just take what you need
And be on you way
And stop crying your heat out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out

window shopping in VIvo and blah blah

met up with shan yesterday. was feeling really down and needed a breather.so we went shopping~!!!!!!haha....took quite a lot of pictures but they were not taken by my phone but her phone,so gotta wait for her to upload.and we got an additional member joining our shopping spree,thats WEI HONG.its almost like thousands of years since we meet each other lo.he called me up suddenly and asked if i wanna go have dinner so we did and he followed us all the way.he must have been really bored!!!LOL!he even carried my laptop for me,so nice of him.after that shan decided that she could do with some additional help too and wei hong gotta carry two laptops.
i guess the hot topic between us would be driving tests....duh...i have not even registered for my final theory,i am really taking it slow huh???haha...shan fail her TP two times liao,lol,she still came up with the reason saying she has to follow her father coz her dad passed it on his third attempt.IF she fails on the third time i will really laugh my ass off.(you better pass ar,i want still want my butt)
we went shopping but bought NOTHING.(except dinner)haha,but we will buying things on thursday la,coz i promised trudy to wait for her and spent the discount voucher with her.(she wanted the sandals and a blouse if i am not wrong)
i seriously don't know what to buy and don't really feel like buying anything.even if i do,i also buy for the sake of sales.cheap.buy and stock up lo.HAHA!
went back at around 10,coz both me and shan got tests and we were damn tired(esp me,trying all those expensive shoes)
initially i wanted to take the MRT but wei hong and shan keep saying the bus faster,got seats la,can sleep la,blah blah blah,in the end it took more than an hour for the bus trip and around 15 mins for waiting for the bus.it stops at woodlands,so i have to take the MRT to admiralty and walk home.YA RITE,so much for "take the bus=better"..took me two hours to reach home.fan-tas-tic,hur?thats why i say i don't like buses,keep swaying,sleep till my head hurt...in mrt,better,no pain de,i just keep falling ba liao.haha...

met up with david a few days ago and had my lunch with him.kent was supposed to be there too but he got locked up in his OWN house(yea,rite) we chat about almost everything and i guess that day must be ferrari gathering day,coz i saw a whole LOT of them,from old classics to the damn new ones.there were even ladies driving it.the engines sound REAL GOOD lo.estimated to be around 20 plus of them ba.shocking eh???blasting around orchard,rich people!herz!just you wait! i will drive one someday.=P
and he got me presents.a pashmina shawl and a birthday bear.so shocked that he knew my bday,coz i thought he don't,den when i ask him,he said i told him before.wow,i don't even remember.lol!he wrote me a 'note' and i wrote him a long passage.haha...think i will pass it to him soon.

i'm settled

i chose to move on,in fact i did not choose,my heart decided that it had enough and moved on before i knew it.i made my stand clear. the answer i had was not expected.
no expectations no disappointments.after all thats said,and talked,thats the answer you were giving me?ha...just how much did you trusted me? what was your trust built on? you fully utilize me...just who are you???encouraged me to move on,and i did.i don't get you,i doubt you understand yourself too.
don't expect people to be running after you all the time.you get sad for me listening to your advice?who is contradicting now?don't bring the two of them up,it has nothing to do with them,its you.
drop contact?sure,if it makes you feel any better,go ahead with it.

ar....i dont know

seriously, i have got lots of things to add on and blog about,but i AM reaLly lazy...hehehe....
went to sue's house to stay for a night(NUS hostel).she say i damn kiasu,coz i keep taking pictures.you know what? i cant help it! it looks pretty...haha...because of that i told sue"i wanna study in NUS!" and she laughed like crazy.
bei shan's birthday was a mess...felt that things were not organized and there was a lot of controversy...damn sian one.threw min shi into the pool den realize she cant swim,in the end i had to jump in to save her.HA! (serves me right for trying to sabo her) she damn ker lian one,but she is a nice person so she forgive me for trying to drown her on her 19th birthday and laughed it all off.jeremey got pushed into the pool too.he acted like a cat!he just 'JUMP' off the water,and reached land.sounds impossible but he did it by grabbing the silver handles on time,so only his pants and walkie got wet.LOL!some assholes on the opposite side of the pool were like booing and shouting at me to swim to the other side and they did stupid whistles coz my clothes were a complete see through. i was really pissed off! whats more i asked that lim bu shan to help me take my towel.she went up and down and UP AGAIN,coz her danny was going to change clothes.WTH!! shouldn't your friend in distress be of top priority and not going to change clothes with your bf???letting your friend die that.hell la! den after which ms,ling and me decided to go for a walk and like catch up with each other,one fella was missing coz she says she just bathed..-_-??what the hell is that???ms cant swim and she got dunked into the pool.she was fine with it so whats the problem with the one who didn't get wet?like so emo for what? nan de sisters are all out,shouldn't we just talk some things out for example she and ling's friendship are on rocks.as sisters,this is what you should be doing meh???ling is making an effort and you are not,it shows.many other issues which i do not wish to mention online.its a sickening and ******* thing.
i went to the movies with trudy and ri xian today.we watched made of honour,a romantic comedy movie la.we wanted to watch chocolate which is a thai action movie but i switched it since trudy says she prefers comedies.i wanted to watch the adam sandler's movie BUT its not showing yet.(aww...so sad) its a pretty ok movie, i enjoyed myself.there are some things i really like about it but i will keep that to myself.just a ordinery happy ending ,everything is easily predicted but everyone needs an everyday story now and then right?haha...after which i sort of drag them off to the market i used to eat at everyday.and wah!!!!i feel so at home there....i missed AMK....all my nice memories were there.it felt great,like someone managed to pull away the chains i had on me.funny rite?but i missed my childhood.like i said before i have my children's day every year so i will be going back to blade around the neighbourhood soon.call me weird,but i like the feeling of home it gives me.
in the mrt we met mr sleepy jeremey.trudy 'shocked' him and sit on him real hard(you can tell from the expression he gives)those people around him laughed in a low profile,except me.i was enjoying the torture that trudy gave him(wicked).haha!i have got a picture up there,told him to smile but he still wanna hide.chae.
AND THIS IS THE BIG THING
miss trudy decided that she wants to be voted for sotong of the year so she ACCIDENTALLY SWAPED my sim card with hers.(she bought a new phone,wanted to transfer the songs to her new phone,did a stupid stunt)
i recieved a msg from an anonymous kitchen staff who tries to be funny and say things like "i also not important, you dont need to know who i am".sounded like some lines from some superhero movie.i got so shocked i told him that i lost my contacts(which is the truth) and asked for his BIG NAME.BIG NAME--> nick( i dunno,trudy dunno and ri xian also dunno,seriously not important)and you know WHO shines the light on me.RI XIAN(i gave you credit,lol).he calls and starts the story line of him messaging 'me' that he was going to sleep,and 'me' replies him that 'i' am reaching home.ri xian thought i lied coz i cant reach home two times so he called only to hear 'me' to be TRUDY. so PLIINNNGGG,he calls 'trudy' to share the big joke.--__--'''hai...trudy ar trudy how sotong can you be???i have to survive your popularity for a night lei....hot stuff in kitchen hor,they will send all sorts of long long chinese msg and weird english short forms.if they call,i will just pretend i didnt see and give you back the miss calls.
what a day......so 'exciting',full of 'surprises'.lol

needles.....sux....

got rushed into A&E again.......got the huge injection and the sucky faint but cant feeling,lay there for like 6 hours with the oxygen provider(nose got really stiff and cold) and the heart beat indicator machine.beat faster a bit only,everyone starts staring at you,thinking they might suddenly hear a 'toot'.whats more i am all by myself~!how sad is that??!!only one person related to you can come in lei and my dad is busy.
damn sian one...want to attend school also damn hard,wanna take a simple test also cannot make it.why are doctors so stupid nowadays?? they don't know whats wrong with me, don't know what medication to give me,so he decided to give me heart attack medicine...like wth...i don't even have it so why should i take it??-_-'''he was like saying"this medication is for you to maintain a regular heartbeat, take half a pill a day,there might be some side effects like drowsiness." i asked him like three times" what am i suffering from?" he didn't even answer me~!!!what a DOCTOR~! really dumb...I'm sick of this,i have had this for three times,its serious.i need to change a doctor or probably a hospital. so i am gonna save up money or maybe even go for private hospitals,at least they will give me an answer,not like some idiot who wants me to take heart attack medicine when i have a normal heart structure, fine ECG results,and a normal person's blood.the tests are out before this incident and they were all fine(according to the white suit 'doctor').so whats wrong???!!!
eat away my money~! you big fat liar! i am poor you know!

sian

waste my money......go cardiologist still cant find out what i am having.you bloody idiot!!!waste my money!you are just someone in a white suit.HERZ~!

hahaha~! sorry i was reALLY bored and started playing the camera of trudy's laptop.and her and her nephew was too cute! i had to put his pictures up.see how peaceful and happy he is when he is sleeping??and the way he bites his toy,hahaha! he is showing a face that says"oh man this is too hard for me!"CUTE! i like babies,they are really innocent and cute.they seem to just pass on their simple happiness to me.so easily contented. and i found a few videos in her laptop too! the videos that we had taken during our sarawak trip for sec3 or 4 i dont really remember.but it shows how BA GAY shan is,her teeth is always out,not like now,dont really see it le,and how cute shikai and alan used to be,and what a lame joker we were.lol

my lap top lost~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@@##$%&%^$#!@#%&

my lap top now really gone ....don't feel like explaining the procedure anymore,its tedious and i seriously got no mood. i can no longer go to penang with my friends and that i have to work doubly harder right now....i am so sick of myself. i got no time and energy to be bothered about other things anymore,i am just making myself a sadist.

the handphone thing has been a tragic experience and a huge emotional blow for me and now a financial bomb. i am seriously sick of many things le.i have got no will to do things anymore le.i am turning selfish and serious.now is that a good or a bad thing? one blow after another,i am not made of steel...i am human too.....lao tian ye ye,you forgot about me???you know ar,qian ar....how can you forget about her???she is suffering and needs your help desperately.where are you when i need you the most??you are gone.and it feels like you are never coming back.so what happens to me if you decided to be gone???will you at least say goodbye to me???tell me if you are gone ok?and i will start to build defenses around myself and block the harm from coming in.
i can only sleep to distress, to run away,to relax in some place you do not know of.and now,even sleep is taken away from me.why do you haunt me???what is it that you want from me??
why cant you just made me a happy person? why must you give me this?why must i go through this?a blow after another.let me off please, i cant turn to anyone for help coz no one understands,they say they know it but how much do they know??they are only guessing,they don't even understand themselves,how can they know me???do they even know what i am worrying about? i doubt so.its so contradicting,i don't want them to know.
but i seriously thank my friends for their efforts.kent thanks lei~!jeremey thanks lei~!ri xian thanks lei~!shi kai thanks lei~!trudy thanks lei~!thank you ar!